Funny Away Messages

This page contains funny away messages that you can use with an instant messenger program. Enjoy!

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Your going to have to hold it because I cant: Submitted: November 21, 2004 @ 09:24 AM

Signing autographs for my fans...Be back in a minute.

Submitted: September 21, 2004 @ 04:49 PM by by Jaybird

So... go places often?

Submitted: September 19, 2004 @ 08:02 PM

"Studying. Notice how they conveniently put """"DYING"""" at the end of this word."

Submitted: February 28, 2005 @ 03:57 PM

Playing in traffic.

Submitted: September 17, 2004 @ 05:57 PM

I eat glue

Submitted: September 5, 2004 @ 06:28 PM

"Clocks are for people who are not creative, I'll be back when I feel the need."

Submitted: August 28, 2004 @ 02:03 PM by by Steller1977

"One day I'll take over the world, but first I'm going to make a sandwich"

Submitted: August 16, 2004 @ 06:24 PM by by Cheetahxpurple

"""""The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and you'd have to specify type of goat."

Submitted: July 19, 2004 @ 04:57 PM by by Tiffany

"Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either Shott shot at Nott or he was not shot. If the shot Shott then Shott was shot, not Nott. However, Mr. Nott said it was not a bullet shot that killed Nott, Nott was killed by a liquor shot"

Submitted: July 19, 2004 @ 08:49 AM

The amount of times you check my away message each day has put me at a level of discomfort to the point to where I felt it necessary to put an e-restraining order on you. The internet police should be arriving soon to serve you with this order

Submitted: July 4, 2004 @ 01:50 PM by by Nadia

This is my away message... What do you think of it?

Submitted: July 15, 2004 @ 11:17 AM

"Note to self: %n(Their Screen name) sent me a message at %t(current time) on %d(current date), add to """"must kill"""" list..."

Submitted: July 11, 2004 @ 07:37 AM by by Sara

Don't you just wish you were here ...

Submitted: July 17, 2004 @ 07:23 AM

Ashes to ashes dust to dust sometimes I just feel like giving up.

Submitted: July 7, 2004 @ 10:57 AM by by Me~

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O...you get it!!!

Submitted: June 17, 2004 @ 02:47 PM by by Bob

Note: the following away message is viewed by a live studio audience

Submitted: July 11, 2004 @ 08:24 PM

YOU FOUND ME!!!!! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD LOOK HERE!

Submitted: July 12, 2004 @ 10:30 AM

"[AOL Alert] """"Salem Virus"""" was detected on your machine. To start the removal process press alt+f4"

Submitted: March 14, 2004 @ 04:37 PM by by Littleal

I am still trying to figure out how these away messages work...wait...I may have gotten it...

Submitted: July 12, 2004 @ 08:45 AM

On eBay looking for a friend...they have good deals you know!

Submitted: June 17, 2004 @ 09:24 AM by by Bam

"I'm just sitting here like a loser, looking at other people's away messages. Oh wait...that's you!"

Submitted: March 28, 2004 @ 09:42 PM

I'm not really away... this message is just a really bad April fools joke

Submitted: April 1, 2004 @ 02:28 PM

I'm sitting on the TV watching the couch

Submitted: July 13, 2004 @ 04:05 PM by by Matt Winter

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Notice: We are no longer accepting new Away Message submissions. If you want to submit a Funny Status Message view the Funny Status Messages page.

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