Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Here's a list of nine bands Stevie Wonder has seen and One that's fake..see if you can guess. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.Blind Melon 9. 10.
←Rate | 04-28-2017 02:51 Comments (3)  

   messageicon Someone just called me NORMAL......I have never been so insulted in my life....
←Rate | 04-28-2017 07:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon At this point in my life the only reason I want to be rich is to hire somebody to clean my house.
←Rate | 04-28-2017 00:35 by Paul Medrano Comments (0)  

   messageicon If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
←Rate | 04-28-2017 05:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
←Rate | 04-28-2017 07:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The walls of hospitals have heard more sincere prayers than the walls of masjid,temples and churches.....
←Rate | 04-28-2017 07:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
←Rate | 04-28-2017 14:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
←Rate | 04-28-2017 12:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My favourite childhood memory is not paying bills
←Rate | 04-28-2017 07:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When she starts "first of all "in the middle of an argument,just give up, she has won already as she is gonna bring up stuff from 10 years back
←Rate | 04-28-2017 07:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you!
←Rate | 04-28-2017 07:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not everybody has to like me, I cant force you to have a good taste!
←Rate | 04-28-2017 07:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I lost 3 pounds over the weekend.but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
←Rate | 04-25-2017 08:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope when I die, it's early in the morning so I don't go to work that day for no reason.
←Rate | 04-24-2017 16:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A recent survey indicates that the Smartphone is now the number one hand held device. The p3ni$ has now dropped to second place.
←Rate | 04-25-2017 08:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Wow, Windows Troubleshooter totally solved the problem!" said no one ever.
←Rate | 04-27-2017 23:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a man says he'll do anything for a woman, he means slay dragons and rescue her from castle towers. Not wash dishes and clean out the basement.
←Rate | 04-05-2017 12:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon On the lighter side, United Airlines won't have to worry about being overbooked for a while.
←Rate | 04-10-2017 11:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "claims he worked like a dog"......i must be getting ripped off because my dog doesnt do any work at all around the house
←Rate | 03-28-2017 23:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 09:47 Comments (1)  

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