Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 01:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 19:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re not happy single, try dating apps. You’ll still be single, but you’ll appreciate it a lot more.
←Rate | 04-29-2022 00:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my chocolate calendar, there are only three days left until Valentine’s Day.
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friendly reminder to put all current boyfriends and girlfriends at the edge of family photos so that they and easily be cropped out later.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 02:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trillion-dollar propaganda machine vs. people putting funny words on pictures.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When today’s safety meeting is about what you did yesterday.
←Rate | 06-30-2022 01:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Places finger on cop’s lips ~ “Shhh…. We were both speeding, okay? I forgive you.”
←Rate | 01-06-2023 18:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quiz question: Would you rather be stuck on an island all alone or with someone you hate, and why? Answer: I would rather be stuck on an island with someone I hate, so I would have something to eat.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when you miss one step on the stairs, and you think you’re about to die.
←Rate | 01-12-2023 01:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you see your-self as Robin Hood, Prince of Jokes. Stealing from group to feed another, spreading joy across the land.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 15:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonder if the skulls of your enemies are dishwasher safe. Asking for a friend.
←Rate | 07-01-2022 01:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are you listening to broken headphones? So, people don’t talk to me.
←Rate | 04-20-2022 12:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alien: I found this, (picks up cat) it’s vibrating.
←Rate | 04-22-2022 00:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a twenty-minute jog. Now I’m sitting at the park, laughing at all the joggers.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 01:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twitter files released. MSM: “What files? ~ Space Man Bad”
←Rate | 01-08-2023 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite part of winter is when it’s over.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 01:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lucky for you, mirrors can't laugh out loud.
←Rate | 01-12-2023 01:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Start each day with a positive thought like; “in 16 hours, I can go back to bed.”
←Rate | 01-18-2023 01:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m all out of snacks. What else do people do for fun? 🤔
←Rate | 01-23-2023 02:40 Comments (0)  




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