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Doctor: It’s a girl Me: *starts sobbing* Doc: Are you OK? Me: Yes I'm just thinking about all the free alcohol she's going to get
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What?
7 minutes ago

I rather give up my children than my guns. I stand by my statement and proud of it!
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It's a unique constituonal right that is not granted anywhere else in the world. You are attempting to challenge people to give up freedom because of the lack of morality of criminals, so that they may be as weak as you are! Why is it that Democrats, liberals and criminals are all equally obsessed over disarming the law abiding citizens of the United States? Answer me that, fool!
45 minutes ago

Looking forward to the day when karma catches up with donnie.
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Get a shrink! "Donnie" is karma catching up with Obama and the Clintons. Karma itself, doesn't "catch up" with Karma, your "waiting" is futile.
53 minutes ago

If Mr. Spock (star.trek) came back in time to do a mind meld with trump, would Mr.Spock be sucsesfull.
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Yes they are. Late night tv is a 5 day a week mind control insult roast. I NEVER watch it. I doubt the thumbs will be up if it's about anyone. People are tired of the political garb, bring back the true humor that isn't designed to single out anyone. Besides two wrongs don't make a right. Right?
7 hours ago
Then all the late night talk shows are just as guilty then. But I bet you still watch them. And the thumb downs are probably trumpians with no sense of trump humor. If the status was about Obama, then the votes would be thumbs up..... Right?
7 hours ago

Today's school shooting, in Santa Fe, marks the 23rd time a school shooting has happened in the USA. Congratulations people, you should be real proud of yourselves.
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Who are you blaming? Also of whoever you are blaming why are you excluding yourself?
8 hours ago

If Mr. Spock (star.trek) came back in time to do a mind meld with trump, would Mr.Spock be sucsesfull.
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Use your head It's not a joke if it's ment to insult or create a negative reaction. 15 thumbs down? I'd say that's quite negative. Jabbing at people for a laugh is not ok, especially when it never stops.
8 hours ago
Status absurber It was ment as a joke, isn't that what this site is for, sharing a laugh? Don't take the status as a hateful commet and try to see the humor side of it which it was intended. And enjoy the rest of your day:-)
12 hours ago

What's the big deal over standing for a song? does it suppose to give you super powers or something?
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John Smythe No it’s a show of respect. Something some cowardly little turd like you wouldn’t understand.
14 hours ago

If Mr. Spock (star.trek) came back in time to do a mind meld with trump, would Mr.Spock be sucsesfull.
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John Smythe Well we know he wouldn’t succeed with you. Moronic Trump hating fool.
14 hours ago

One of Kim's buddies called Pence a dummy, so Trump cancelled the meeting. Not making that up. That literally happened. This is middle school-level drama.
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Middle school level drama is an improvement. Usually trump's response is at a 4th grade level.
16 hours ago

When all is said and done, just remember, I am the Alpha of here. Only I can clean up what I want, when I want and who I want!
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Feel better?
1 day ago

Starcents, it's like Starbucks only cheaper.
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And less racist/conservative.
1 day ago

Hey, Starbucks...looks like your “Open Borders” policy kinda failed miserably after 2 day’s, huh?! Imagine that...
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Is Starbucks now a homeless shelter?
1 day ago

What is a person who goes off their diet called? A deserter
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Or a desserter?
1 day ago

Florida and Texas send out a zombie alert to residents.
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What do you expect from the two lowest IQ states?
2 days ago

USA had 288 school shootings since 2009. In second place, we have France with 2. What are we doing wrong?
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Ray Mass Shootings are good! #MAGA
2 days ago

After the impeachment. It will be "MUELLER TIME"
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Whatever evidence you have on Russian involvement and/or "collusion please forward it to the Mueller team because so far THEY haven't been able to find any.
3 days ago

USA had 288 school shootings since 2009. In second place, we have France with 2. What are we doing wrong?
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^^ France has gun free zones everywhere yet only 2 shootings since 2009. Why can't we be mature like France?
3 days ago
Double G Easy, ever since we implemented "gun free" zones, shootings started. Put armed guards in schools and better parenting.
3 days ago
How did they come up with these numbers? Here's their rationale for their logic: A shooting that involved at least one person being shot (not including the shooter) A shooting that occurred on school grounds We included grades K through college/university level We included gang violence, fights and domestic violence We included accidental discharge of a firearm as long as the first two parameters are met They cast a pretty wide and thin net to get these statistics. For example, if a guy was trying to do a drug trade in a track meet parking lot in the middle of the night and one shoots the other, that is a "school shooting" in their book. They include shootings that take place on school grounds, but are separate from shootings involving students or school related activities, as well as college/university shootings. Similar inflated number claims have all been made, and they have all been debunked for including BS numbers such as a BB gun shooting at a school bus and an off campus gang shooting where a stray bullet hits a school building and no one gets injured.
3 days ago

If your kid graduates high school you were smart and voted for Trump.
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HTF did voting for stump oops I mean trump help their kid graduate high school?
5 days ago

Can someone please buy the Kardashian's a box of condoms, thanks
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How about for the trump's as well.
5 days ago

Stop talking about the Royal Wedding, your cats are sick of hearing about it.
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MEOW
1 week ago

I was once in a band called Click Bait. You won't believe the kind of music we recorded. Track number 5 will blow your mind.
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Ray You all stupids! Kill yourselves please.
1 week ago

Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
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^^ Probably because you start screaming and bawling when you see Trump on TV and that scares your dog causing it to leave the room...
1 week ago
But they don't like trump. My dog will get up and leave the room every time trump comes on the TV screen.
1 week ago

I was once in a band called Click Bait. You won't believe the kind of music we recorded. Track number 5 will blow your mind.
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I thought it was pretty damn funny.
1 week ago

Just to be clear, when I came over to your house I had no intention of fighting your cat.
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Yeah but it's now pregnant.
1 week ago

I was once in a band called Click Bait. You won't believe the kind of music we recorded. Track number 5 will blow your mind.
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Jethro Dull I'm in a band called, "Lord? Why do you create morons who post the most idiotic things such a click bait jokes?"
1 week ago

Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
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Ray Good for you!
2 weeks ago

Pride Parade bans Drag Queens, it offends transgenders.Libs are confused on what side to take.
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I’m neither, an still wouldn’t care if they all died
2 weeks ago
^^ So I was right. Okay, gotcha!
2 weeks ago
^ Assumptions, opinions and insults. Someone jokes about a liberal paradox and a rat faced liberal comes out, in predictably usual fashion, blaming conservatives and Christians. Funniest shyt I've seen all day! I gotta show this to my friends! Hahahahahahaa!!
2 weeks ago
So conservatives don't care about drag queens? They could all die for all you guys care? Some Christians you guys are.
2 weeks ago

My wife and I broke because of my gambling...... I hit the lottery and left her.
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Jake Oops that's We broke up
2 weeks ago

Trump is such a horrible politician. I can't believe that he's actually doing what he promised he would do before the election.
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Yeah, like that wall. It's soooooo huge.
2 weeks ago

Bought a stick deodarant. Instruction say "remove cap and push up bottom"....... I have trouble walking, but when I fart, the room does smells nice.
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Ray This is so original! #mindblown
2 weeks ago

FYI, an extra $1.25 isn't considered a great increase, IMO. Just saying....
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Ironically the $1.25 is just enough to buy a Pay Day candy bar.
2 weeks ago

This job is really getting in the way of my naps.
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Donald?....... Is that you?
2 weeks ago

There are now way too many people on this planet. We need a new plague.
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Ray ^^ Keep crying moron!
2 weeks ago

my car has air conditioning
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Mine has tires
2 weeks ago

There are now way too many people on this planet. We need a new plague.
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We have one. It's called Trump.
2 weeks ago

Are you bored and broke? Do you have 40 spare hours to fill every week ? Would you like to earn thousands of dollars a month? Then get a job like the rest of us you bumb.
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Jake F.you 12:09 Apparently you lack that skill as well. "would be a go idea" Maybe you should practice what you preach. Also my status was ment as a joke. Not a snarky comment or to belittle anyone. You need to see the humor in these status.
3 weeks ago

Jeremiah was a bullfrog. True story.
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Kermit He was a good friend of mine.
3 weeks ago

I just got 40 winks on the suaway........ I knew I shouldn't of worn this pink T-shirt.
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Jake Oops...... That's subway
3 weeks ago

Are you bored and broke? Do you have 40 spare hours to fill every week ? Would you like to earn thousands of dollars a month? Then get a job like the rest of us you bumb.
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P.S. Notice how I didnt resort to your tactics, pointing out your spelling mistake about your word "good". I don't have to resort to your foolishness in order to win arguments. Idiot!
3 weeks ago
^^^ Those are the exact spelling lyrics from the song "work" by Rhianna. God you're so dumb!
3 weeks ago
Fuckyou If you are going to post a snarky comment where you try to belittle others, it would be a go idea if you used spell check first since you apparently lack that skill personally
3 weeks ago

how do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
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Leslie Hi, Are u looking to hire an hacker/private investigator to spy on your spouse,fiancé,gf,bf,kids,lock and format a phone or computer remotely,track employees. I had someone help me hack into my spouse's emails,SMS,call recording,facebook,Skype ,track a family member,WhatsApp,call logs, and phone text messages when I suspected he was cheating. All he asked for was a phone number. Feel free to shoot him an email at CHARLESCYBERWIZ [at] GMAIL .COM. If u need help, tell him Leslie reffered u to him and he'll help. Good luck.
3 weeks ago
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