Funny Away Messages

This page contains funny away messages that you can use with an instant messenger program. Enjoy!


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"I don't study want to know why? Studying gives you knowledge, knowledge give you power, power corrupts. I don't want to be corrupt therefore I don't study "

I can't think of a good away message so go to here and find one for me

Stalker!

I am under my desk right now and by the looks of this guy I'll be there for a while...leave a message!

"I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone. "

"Are you mad at me? If not, press Alt+F4. (closes their program) "
Submitted: by by Aaron

"You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear "

I am studying procrastinating...leave a message

"I am away from my computer right now. Far away. Not even close. In fact, someone could be stealing my computer right now and I wouldn't know. So if someone starts talking to you and it doesn't sound like me, don't worry, it's probably a burglar. Just keep him busy until I get back, that way he can't get away. You know, just bombard him with IM's and annoy him so he gets distracted from his work like you always do to me. Thanks, I owe ya one! "

I am out ripping off mattress tags at the mall

"I am sleeping right now, so when I return from class I'll get back to you. "

I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!

"If you're horny and you know it clap your hands... BRB, I'm clapping. "

"If you're not wasted, the day is! "

I see stupid people reading my away message...
Submitted: by by Savannah

jeez! why do you even read these things?

"I am busy, you're an idiot, have a nice day! "

Today's word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Submitted: by by Joe S

Drink what you will. Drink what you like. If you drinking with me you'll be under the table tonight. OUT DRINKING!
Submitted: by by Casey L.

"If you think I just wait around my room all day waiting for messages then you would be right, but that's not the point...leave a message! "

Snorting a few lines before bed

I'm off fanaticizing about %n(Their Screen name)
Submitted: by by Maura

"Sleep is god, especially when your not alone. "
Submitted: by by Nikole

My away message can beat up yours!
Submitted: by by Liz

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Notice: We are no longer accepting new Away Message submissions. If you want to submit a Funny Status Message view the Funny Status Messages page.