Funny Away Messages

This page contains funny away messages that you can use with an instant messenger program. Enjoy!

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"Congratulations %n(Their Screen name) had a baby!!!! I'm at the baby shower, bbl."

Only fools leave away messages

insert away message here>

Let's talk about Rights and Lefts.. Your Right! I left!

"I'm not here. Cry me a river, build me a bridge, then do us all a favor and jump off of it! "

Submitted: by by Kate

Now I lay me down to study and pray the lord I don't go nutty if I shall fail to learn this junk I pray the lord I will not flunk if I do don't pity me

Submitted: by by Meghan

Who even reads these anymore?

"This straight jacket is surprisingly comfortable, but unfortunately I cant reach my keyboard until they unstrap me.. I really like the padded rooms though, they are very fun until about the third day of isolation then you get bored... that's when you start thinking... was I ever really sane? "

Submitted: by by Sara

Did I ever tell you that I loved you

I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen

I spent all day thinking about a cool away message and this is what I came up with: NOTHING

Submitted: by by Raquel

You're right...I left!

Submitted: by by Ally

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

Sleeping... it's what I do when I am not awake

"If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!!!:- "

Submitted: by by Brittney Lynn

I'm not here so talk to yourself

"From ashes to ashes from dust to dust, life is too short, so party WE MUST... "

Me fail English? That's impossible.

Submitted: by by Ralph Wiggum

Why do I need to tell you where I am?

Go Go Gadget Away Message!

I've gone off the deep end...be back when I feel like swimming

No one dies a virgin...life screws us all!

I want you... I need you... to leave a message!!

I walked away and all I left was this lousy away message

Submitted: by by Sam

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Notice: We are no longer accepting new Away Message submissions. If you want to submit a Funny Status Message view the Funny Status Messages page.

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