Funny Away Messages

This page contains funny away messages that you can use with an instant messenger program. Enjoy!

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my dog ate my away message: Submitted: February 2, 2009 @ 04:31 PM by by Stepherzzzz

"I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. "

Submitted: February 13, 2008 @ 05:45 AM

"I am not here. if you want to call my cell phone, buy me a cell phone. "

Submitted: February 12, 2008 @ 01:42 PM

Friend ship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings

Submitted: February 12, 2008 @ 12:23 PM by by C.tizzle

I'm touching underwater breathing apparatus

Submitted: February 11, 2008 @ 09:51 AM

Why would you talk to someone that's away?

Submitted: February 10, 2008 @ 11:38 AM

If Barbie is so popular... then why do you have to buy her friends?

Submitted: February 10, 2008 @ 08:14 AM by by Wackiejackiexo12

Someone that loves me went to (someplace) and all they got me was this away message.

Submitted: February 9, 2008 @ 09:04 AM

"At the end of every tunnel, there's a light. Just pray it's not a train "

Submitted: February 6, 2008 @ 10:09 AM by by Casey

"I'' be back in 5 minutes. If I'm not back by then, I'll be longer. "

Submitted: January 29, 2008 @ 03:20 PM by by C.

taking care or gay burglars they want to change my house around

Submitted: January 29, 2008 @ 03:30 PM by by Unknown Source

I'm spending some quality time with my pillow... be back in the morning

Submitted: January 29, 2008 @ 04:28 PM

I'm wherever you want me to be as long as it floats your boat!

Submitted: January 30, 2008 @ 03:50 AM by by Kristen

you don't know what you have until it bites you in the ass

Submitted: January 30, 2008 @ 01:28 PM

"Ya know, sometimes you have to make a huge decision in your life. Well I just made on because I didn't want to have to clean up the mess...be right back. "

Submitted: January 30, 2008 @ 06:38 PM by by Anonomoyous

"if you have something you love. through it away, if it comes back cherish it forever. "

Submitted: February 2, 2008 @ 12:17 PM by by Pity The Fake

This is your mom's away message..

Submitted: February 2, 2008 @ 08:05 PM by by Justin

"Does this away message really mean I'm away, or am I pretending to be away...? "

Submitted: February 3, 2008 @ 10:42 AM

You only know you've really succeeded if you throw up afterwards

Submitted: February 3, 2008 @ 03:06 PM

Wait. What? I can honestly say I really don't get it...

Submitted: February 3, 2008 @ 04:32 PM by by Yeaitsmee

"Okay, I have an idea. How about I just put up an away message, and make it seem like I have a life, even though I'm probably sitting at the computer... rocking back and forth, humming the theme to Sesame Street... "

Submitted: February 4, 2008 @ 02:15 PM by by Jaslenian

I am not here right now. leave a message at the dot .

Submitted: February 4, 2008 @ 04:46 PM by by Leave One

I 143 you

Submitted: December 12, 2007 @ 08:09 AM by by Vishal Rana

I have had to make like tight pants and split.

Submitted: December 11, 2007 @ 11:17 AM by by Grevader

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Notice: We are no longer accepting new Away Message submissions. If you want to submit a Funny Status Message view the Funny Status Messages page.

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