Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Ladies: Always remember, Boys may come and go, but a man will stay.

   stop chasing girls chase money cause when you got money they chase you....and I'm slow they always catch me :)

   I am most like a mushroom. I am a fungi!

   When the Old Spice Guy comes after your girl, your not offended, your honored.

   Don't you just hate those skinny ass Barbie type girls that always says "I'm fat"!! I would love to go "not now but keep actin' like your actin' and you will be after those 7 kids you're gonna have" Anyone else feel this way??

   I suffer from schizophrenia. (I really don't.) Do. (Don't.) Do. (Don't!) Do! (Shut up!) NO, YOU SHUT UP! (Poo Poo head) THATS IT! (what?) I hate you. (i know)

   The only rime I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish sendkng a text.

   msg me if your up for cleaning my apartment. I pay in Oreo's btw.. :D (can't guarantee the cream wont be licked off)

   Sometimes I wonder if Trump was only put in to make Hillary look good.

   There's nothing to FEAR, but the book FEAR itself

   TODAY IS THE DAY OF ST. JUDE THADDEUS, PATRON SAINT OF IMPOSSIBLE CAUSES. If our new President ever needed all the help in the universe in straightening out the mess of the past 8 years, this Saint is the one.

   So, the argument is that Trump said "wire tap" because he couldn't spell "surveillance"?

   For a year numbered 2020, it's amazing how blind some folks can be.

   If you don't like wearing a face mask the next time you go in for surgery don't forget to tell your surgeon to take off their mask as it won't protect them.

   What do an illegal alien and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.

   A nal – Because some women understand a week is too long for a man to wait.

   I'm happiest when I'm asleep. It's my little temporary death.

   I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is "down for the count." I don't care that he loves Dracula I just want to know who's winning.

   I took my sister to a NASCAR rase and all I got was this lousy son/nephew.

   I Shout out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a mans attention.. Stay classy!!