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Nipper Funny Status Messages
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The voices in my head have been quite for a while. They probably broke something.
53
9
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01-30-2014 17:14 by
Nipper
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2
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Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn't leave much room. It's small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
57
10
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12-09-2014 16:02 by
Nipper
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1
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My kid thinks I'm some kind of wizard because I can start a car by blowing in a tube.
51
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01-20-2016 05:59 by
Nipper
Comments (
3
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It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist's finger before she stops believing that you're doing it accidentally.
90
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01-25-2014 16:56 by
Nipper
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0
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I actually feel bad for Justin Bieber. No girl should have to take a picture without her makeup on
73
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01-23-2014 16:36 by
Nipper
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0
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We need to start worrying about what kind of world we are going to leave for Keith Richards.
39
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04-14-2015 14:23 by
Nipper
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I think we should line up all the presidential candidates and see which one a dog doesn't bark at. That person should become president.
83
15
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01-26-2016 13:49 by
Nipper
Comments (
3
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Locals are said to be in a state of shock after Police found a stash of guns behind the library in Glasgow yesterday. People of Glasgow did not know they had a library.
66
12
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07-21-2014 06:42 by
Nipper
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Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
55
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01-15-2014 15:35 by
Nipper
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A teardrop tattoo means they're a giant cry baby, so don't forget to tease them relentlessly about it.
55
10
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10-10-2014 05:14 by
Nipper
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Note to self... the shower curtain cannot save you from falling.
55
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04-10-2015 08:29 by
Nipper
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When considering joining a site offering secret infidelity but requires you register with a name/photo, a good alternative is to not do that
33
6
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07-20-2015 15:36 by
Nipper
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I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
60
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08-05-2014 17:08 by
Nipper
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I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
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07-11-2015 16:10 by
Nipper
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I'm extremely happy which can only mean that life is going to get real fucky here any minute.
36
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03-22-2015 12:53 by
Nipper
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My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
41
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03-01-2015 16:22 by
Nipper
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If I've learned one thing from Philip Seymour Hoffman's death, it's that someone needs to introduce Bieber to heroin.
65
13
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02-04-2014 14:59 by
Nipper
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Wedding cake…One last reminder of what it was like to shove something in her mouth.
60
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08-29-2014 16:08 by
Nipper
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What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.
30
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03-02-2014 07:36 by
Nipper
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I cannot wait to interrupt Kanye West's eulogy.
20
4
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03-26-2016 06:11 by
Nipper
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