Nipper Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The voices in my head have been quite for a while. They probably broke something.
←Rate | 01-30-2014 17:14 by Nipper Comments (2)  


   messageicon Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn't leave much room. It's small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
←Rate | 12-09-2014 16:02 by Nipper Comments (1)  


   messageicon My kid thinks I'm some kind of wizard because I can start a car by blowing in a tube.
←Rate | 01-20-2016 05:59 by Nipper Comments (3)  


   messageicon It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist's finger before she stops believing that you're doing it accidentally.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 16:56 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I actually feel bad for Justin Bieber. No girl should have to take a picture without her makeup on
←Rate | 01-23-2014 16:36 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need to start worrying about what kind of world we are going to leave for Keith Richards.
←Rate | 04-14-2015 14:23 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think we should line up all the presidential candidates and see which one a dog doesn't bark at. That person should become president.
←Rate | 01-26-2016 13:49 by Nipper Comments (3)  


   messageicon Locals are said to be in a state of shock after Police found a stash of guns behind the library in Glasgow yesterday. People of Glasgow did not know they had a library.
←Rate | 07-21-2014 06:42 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon When considering joining a site offering secret infidelity but requires you register with a name/photo, a good alternative is to not do that
←Rate | 07-20-2015 15:36 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wedding cake…One last reminder of what it was like to shove something in her mouth.
←Rate | 08-29-2014 16:08 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
←Rate | 01-15-2014 15:35 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon A teardrop tattoo means they're a giant cry baby, so don't forget to tease them relentlessly about it.
←Rate | 10-10-2014 05:14 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self... the shower curtain cannot save you from falling.
←Rate | 04-10-2015 08:29 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
←Rate | 07-11-2015 16:10 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
←Rate | 08-05-2014 17:08 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm extremely happy which can only mean that life is going to get real fucky here any minute.
←Rate | 03-22-2015 12:53 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
←Rate | 03-01-2015 16:22 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned one thing from Philip Seymour Hoffman's death, it's that someone needs to introduce Bieber to heroin.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 14:59 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.
←Rate | 03-02-2014 07:36 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cannot wait to interrupt Kanye West's eulogy.
←Rate | 03-26-2016 06:11 by Nipper Comments (0)  



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