Funny Status Messages Search

X says Be comfortable in your own skin, only serial killers are comfortable in other people's skin.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-08-2011 08:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Serendipity - When an empty glass and a bottle of booze cross paths.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-08-2011 09:08 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Ladies; Your eyebrows will either make you or break you.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-09-2011 10:07 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? If you want to know the answer, order both off the menu and see which one comes first.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-09-2011 10:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Ladies: Trust me, nice guys are all around you, it's just that the a$$holes are blockin your view.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-10-2011 00:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Tomorrow is 11/11/11. This day only comes once every 100 years so go out there and do something crazy and make it memorable.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-10-2011 09:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X Lazy rule: Can't reach it. Don't need it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-10-2011 12:29 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Seeking other people's approval is disapproving yourself.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-10-2011 12:41 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says I don't have a drinking problem. I have a stopping problem.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 01:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Sometimes when I cut my toenails, I leave them all over the floor just in case ants need to use them as swords when they are at war.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 01:03 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says "Police! Open the door!" ... "Will you promise not to get mad?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 01:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says I don't need anger management... I need people to stop talking to me when I wake up.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 08:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Sorry for drunk texting you again last night. I assure you that I didn't mean what I said, unless you feel the same way

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 11:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says It's Friday, Saturday's less hungover neighbor.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 11:40 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says At 11:11 AM and PM today. It will be 11-11-11 11 11 and that doesn't mean sh!t. Carry on with your day folks.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 11:42 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Two chicks in one untagged Facebook profile picture? The account belongs to the ugly one.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 11:44 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 11:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says No matter how fast you run, michael myers will walk faster.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-12-2011 12:52 by Czovczov Comments (1)

X says I'm a member of the CSI - “Can't. Stand. Idiots.”

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-13-2011 07:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Turns out that button in the elevator with the fireman's hat on it... is not the button you push if you want a fireman's hat.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-13-2011 07:56 by Czovczov Comments (0)