Haha Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I'm so old that the only room I can go into and remember why is the bathroom.
←Rate | 10-23-2018 19:42 by Haha Comments (2)  

   messageicon Kids, here's how to get double candy on Halloween. Put on your costume. Then cover it with a sheet. Go to door the first time as ghost. Take sheet off go back again with other costume. Bam double candy. Happy Halloween.
←Rate | 10-29-2018 16:25 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon I said Alexa, what do women want? The damn thing has not shut up for the past three days.
←Rate | 09-25-2018 01:11 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon " I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb."
←Rate | 08-16-2018 22:17 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon My sandal invention for people with one leg turn out to be a flop.
←Rate | 09-08-2018 00:35 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Japan has built humanoid robots to do construction work. The robots are so human like that they have three reports of sexual harassment.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 05:32 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maybe people would be more concerned about saving the planet if chocolate and coffee were on the endangered list.
←Rate | 10-05-2018 16:35 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Uranus, a town in Missouri has a news paper call The Uranus Examiner
←Rate | 09-25-2018 16:33 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon . A Hypochondriac is a person who can't leave well enough alone.
←Rate | 10-22-2018 21:43 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just got my E-Harmony results. They match me with a computer, a chair, and a bottle of lotion.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 14:33 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon If someone works with a bunch of a$$holes all day. Can they add proctologist to their resume?
←Rate | 08-15-2018 20:10 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon The I before E except after C rule has been disproven by science.
←Rate | 09-14-2018 18:31 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend cured me of my constipation by telling me she thought she was pregnant.
←Rate | 10-05-2018 18:25 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I played the piano when I was a kid, my dog would howl. Eventually getting fed up with the dog's howling. My dad said for goodness sakes, can you play something the dog does't know.
←Rate | 09-23-2018 20:22 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion
←Rate | 12-01-2011 23:59 by haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon The police department should replace their sirens with the national athem.
←Rate | 08-17-2018 01:18 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon The diference between inlaws and outlaws...... Outlaws are wanted.
←Rate | 08-16-2018 18:20 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Place an order with an energy saving catalogue co. for an economy efficient hair dryer. What I received was a bath towel.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 03:53 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Woman aks pharmacy clerk if they sold extra large comdoms. Clerk said yes, would like a pack? No she replied. But I'd like to wait here untill someone does.
←Rate | 04-14-2018 14:08 by HaHa Comments (0)  

   messageicon anything is possible with boobs
←Rate | 02-07-2010 23:26 by haha Comments (0)  

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