Fazzy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The only thing worse than not getting a joke, is being offended by one.
←Rate | 06-02-2020 14:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who cares about Elmer Fudd's rifle. I'm way more concerned about them taking Marvin the Martian's Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.šŸ—¼
←Rate | 06-14-2020 09:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon My concerns with anything having to do with the Royal Family ended in 1776.
←Rate | 01-15-2020 16:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon And just like that, people on Facebook went from being politicians to being epidemiologists.
←Rate | 03-11-2020 10:45 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon For a year numbered 2020, it's amazing how blind some folks can be.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 06:20 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I called the book store and asked for some new book I had heard about on improving one's sā‚¬x life. The clerk said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." I go, "Yep, that's the one!"
←Rate | 06-18-2020 06:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon The people in 1920 probably thought in 2020 we would have our own space ships and robots... but no. So far we've come up with two-sided tape and rubber bands shaped like animals.
←Rate | 02-04-2020 20:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Popeye's Chicken is offensive to guys who have ridiculously large forearms with anchors tattooed on them and really skinny girlfriends.
←Rate | 06-19-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't believe I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this without being on any medication.
←Rate | 01-07-2020 06:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon 95% of my news feed is now agenda driven. The other 5% is: "There's a bed and a chair in a room. If someone enters the room, how many pancakes each did the seat cushion and the mattress eat?
←Rate | 06-10-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Between diet soda, the Impossible Whopper and non-dairy creamer, our foods have become more fake than our online personas.
←Rate | 12-02-2019 06:36 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon It doesn't actually bother me much that I'll keep forgetting to write 2020 on my checks. What does bother me, is that it's 2020 and I'm still writing checks.
←Rate | 01-04-2020 19:49 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Has a 24 pack of Charmin Extra Soft. Willing to trade for a bottle of Imodium A-D.
←Rate | 03-10-2020 05:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Prepare yourself. The family Christmas pajama pics are headed your way.
←Rate | 12-25-2019 11:09 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've decided that throughout this Coronavirus ordeal; especially to those at home practicing Social Distancing, the term "calories" regarding all foods shall now be referred to as "Boredom Alleviation Points."
←Rate | 03-19-2020 07:11 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lego is offensive to people with bad knees.
←Rate | 06-18-2020 20:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm preemptively preparing for the upcoming pancake shortage. šŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„ žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„ž
←Rate | 06-18-2020 02:42 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Divorce Log: December 16, 2005 ME: Is this new bed I got us great or what!!! Wife: Uh... NO! ME: (looking down from top bunk) Why not?
←Rate | 12-16-2019 04:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've resigned myself to the fact that if I start now, I'll have all my Christmas lights untangled and ready to go by December 24th.
←Rate | 02-17-2020 08:01 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon There will soon come a day when the only thing we'll use modern technology for is to reminisce about how good things were before modern technology.
←Rate | 02-19-2020 12:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

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