Jackbrass Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why are porn DVDs 8 hours long? I was done before the opening credits.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 21:43 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 02:39 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if the light we see at the end of a tunnel when we die is really just us being pushed out of our moms vagina in the start of our next life?
←Rate | 06-16-2011 02:57 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only way I would honestly be able to say you are "hot" is if you were set on fire.
←Rate | 04-30-2011 06:12 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cop to a hooker: What would your mother do if she seen you out here doing this? Hooker: She'd kill me, this is her corner.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 06:32 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you go to google and type " why does my " in the search box. Read some of the suggestions on there and you'll see why I hate people.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 07:51 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah April 20th, the day the word dude was born.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 11:24 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm ecstatic about this radioactive wind, this is my closest chance to get those superpowers I always wanted. Thanks japan!
←Rate | 04-01-2011 15:38 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon People have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and pinning the tail on the donkey – but I bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, every time.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 04:08 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate my ducking iPhone, why the he'll won the son of a botch let me ducking swear? This is passing me off!
←Rate | 05-31-2011 06:46 by Jackbrass Comments (1)  


   messageicon People should stop arguing about ps3 and. Xbox. We all know the best system is was and always will be the nintendo 64!
←Rate | 05-08-2011 18:04 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon 6 family members had a birthday this month and thanks to Facebook I knew that this year.
←Rate | 06-11-2011 04:29 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't even want sex out of the deal. I just wanted a nice sandwich.
←Rate | 08-03-2011 06:24 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Home: the place I can poop for as long as I want to.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 17:35 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Commercials used to be funny. Now they're just like "hey stupid! Buy this!"
←Rate | 01-26-2012 17:39 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a--hole.
←Rate | 06-28-2011 09:59 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever since my roommate got a new uptight, b!tchy girlfriend he's been acting like a real d!ck to everyone. So one night I took his phone, went on his facebook and checked in at a male strip club, then a gay bar, then a wmca. He's single again.DontBeAd!ck
←Rate | 09-21-2011 04:40 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl sleeps wit a lot of men she's a sl*t, but if a guy sleeps with alot of women he's the man. Not a double standard, look at it like this. If a key opens alot of locks it's a master key, if a lock gets opened by alot of keys then it's a sh*tty lock.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 17:27 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
←Rate | 06-15-2011 02:34 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Grampa put his hand on grandma's vagina and said "make a wish". Grandma said "I wish you had parkinsons".
←Rate | 07-27-2011 10:00 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


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