Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If the plot of Breaking Amish isn’t an Amish guy with cancer who sells light bulbs to pay his medical bills then you can count me out.

   The irony is,, Girl dogs do not even talk about their girl friends behind their backs...

   Sunglasses – allowing perverts to stare at boobs they're never going to touch for decades.

   *Achievement Unlocked* 15G - Reading This Status All The Way

   I see your chinstrap facial hair, and I raise you an IQ test.

   I really thought my business as a professional cat fight promoter would've taken off by now. Maybe I should use women instead of actual cats…

   Will there soon be a trump beach hotel in North Korea

   Saw a middle-eastern friend shaking a carpet on 6th floor balcony. I called out "what's wrong ahmed, won't it start."

   Looks like Ossoff found those 11,000 votes Trump was looking for...

   "Scots love me and I love those haggis smelling weirdos who wear those little girlie skirts!" -Trump, eventually, during his Scotland trip.

   If Hillary becomes president she will be the first F President. Oh, sorry. I was going to say female, but the "emale" got deleted.

   Gadaffi will take many secrets to his grave: dirt he had on Bush; dirt he had on Blair, but also how to spell his name correctly.....

   Some people on Facebook always post funny stuff.. Some people always post lovey dovey stuff.. And Some people posts.. Just make you wana scream..STFU Already!

   I'm about to get in the middle of some girl-on-girl action with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth.

   One of my family members has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's if only I could remember which one!!

   Before looking for intelligent life on planets found in other solar systems, maybe we should look for it on our own planet..

   Hey I found your nose, it was in my business again..

   I bet the minivan industry hates the condom industry.

   If Its Not on the first Search Page of Google, It doesn't Exist .

   facebook..... its like The Hotel California... You can check in at any time... But you can't never leave!!!