Stevielea Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon it just me, or is Tom cruise starting to look like a middle aged lesbian?
←Rate | 08-27-2018 14:36 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you glue a dead wasp to your palm, you can smack your boss on the back of the head as hard as you want and act like you saved him.
←Rate | 09-14-2018 07:21 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon When does hibernation start? Because I'm 100% participating in that!!
←Rate | 10-10-2018 14:48 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook just suggested I poke my wife.....yeah good one Facebook.....been trying for weeks!
←Rate | 08-28-2018 09:05 by Stevielea Comments (2)  


   messageicon Out of all the utensils to eat rice with how the f*@k did 2 sticks win?
←Rate | 08-30-2018 12:05 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was younger I used to sneak out Of my home to go to parties, now I sneak away from parties to go home.
←Rate | 09-10-2018 11:52 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon ATTENTION: Due to BBQ setbacks, my ripped beach body Will be postponed another year. Thank you for understanding.
←Rate | 08-24-2018 09:50 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT : If someone is playing Xmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as a Halloween decoration.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just bought the personalized number plate baa baa. For my black jeep.
←Rate | 11-11-2018 04:08 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it's $50 to let go"
←Rate | 08-23-2018 18:32 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80's far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.
←Rate | 10-10-2018 13:36 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leaving your window open for an hour in the summertime and then the cast from f*@k!?g bug's Life start producing their second film!!
←Rate | 08-23-2018 18:27 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why weigh yourself when you could set yourself on fire then roll in broken glass and feel the same way!
←Rate | 10-07-2018 04:59 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family I'm a gift!!
←Rate | 12-15-2018 00:42 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cut the swooshes of my nike socks and sold them to my neighbours wife to use as eyebrows.
←Rate | 09-16-2018 02:40 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy watching love island.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:21 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a person who doesn't sing along to Bohemian rhapsody when it comes on the radio!
←Rate | 09-23-2018 18:59 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking rum before 10am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic!
←Rate | 09-25-2018 13:24 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon "what did he say?" "Who is she?" "What just happened?" ( Repeat 30 times and you just watched a movie with my wife.)
←Rate | 08-20-2018 11:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people wake up feeling like a million bucks, me? I wake up feeling like insufficient funds.
←Rate | 10-07-2018 04:38 by Stevielea Comments (0)  




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