g0re Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook ....
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:24 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your boyfriend remembers your eye colour after the first date, then you probably have small tits
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:30 by G0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when you click a thumbnail to view a larger picture but the picture ends up being the same size as the thumbnail.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 03:06 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."
←Rate | 01-14-2012 05:14 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 16:44 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Am I the only one that when somebody says "10 years ago", thinks about 90's instead of 2002?
←Rate | 01-22-2012 18:51 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon My son just spoke his first words to me: 'Dad, where the f**k have you been the last 20 years?!' It was so cute.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 20:51 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is that girls in tamp0n commercials dance and laugh? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burn!ng sh!t down?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 20:42 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon People think i'm shy because I don't talk or participate much in conversations. The truth is I don't really give a f*ck what they're talking about.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 19:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Due to the Global Financial Crisis, Ke$ha will now be known as Ke¢ha.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 22:56 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon What did one ocean say to the other ocean?...Nothing they just waved...Do you SEA what I did there?...I'm SHORE you did, BEACH.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 18:57 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good… Sounds like Santa's got a Facebook.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 21:54 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's that little bit of you that secretly thinks you'll be famous some day.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 16:59 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today I saw a homeless man holding a sign that said "why live in a $100k home when I can live under a 3 million dollar bridge?"
←Rate | 01-12-2012 21:50 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon .I hate it when celebrities get on TV and tell us to donate to some fund… B!tch, you make 12 million a movie & I make $12/hr. You send money..
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:25 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Without that little voice in your head you wouldn't be able to read this.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 19:22 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come rappers always brag about being criminals and committing crimes, but then whine like little babies when people illegally download their music. Dang hypocrites.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:46 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your manners slowly disappear the more you have to repeat something. Example: Can you pass the salt? The salt, can you pass it. No. The SALT. GIVE ME THE SALT!
←Rate | 10-14-2011 00:28 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you need sleep when you feel drunk without having actually had any alcohol.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 00:06 by g0re Comments (0)  

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