Funny Status Messages Search

X I guess what I'm proudest of is my ability to make the tough choices in hypothetical situations.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-06-2011 11:32 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Whoever wants to kill Casey Anthony, should probably do so in Florida.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-06-2011 12:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Laters FB... I'm tired of sharing my opinions And liking everybody's sh!t......and Pokin' folks I hardly even know... Peace Out! I'll do all that sh!t to y'all tomorrow.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-06-2011 22:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I hate when cashiers ask you if that's everything. Oh no, I'd also like all this invisible sh!t.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-07-2011 10:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X It must really suck to be a podium salesman. "Are your arms tired out from holding five pieces of paper?" You need a podium!

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-07-2011 11:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Disclaimer: I'm really bad at judging what size Tupperware container leftovers will fit in.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-07-2011 12:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X My refrigerator is like a condiment time capsule.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-07-2011 12:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X "Use As Directed" is just a personal challenge to my creativity.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-07-2011 14:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane...

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-07-2011 15:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X My brain returns to its default settings every ten minutes.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-07-2011 18:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X When I see someone driving the same car I'm driving, I always peer in to make sure it's not me from another dimension.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-08-2011 13:26 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-09-2011 15:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X In real life, I never know when danger is coming because the music doesn't change.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-09-2011 17:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I'd like to drink less alcohol but I don't want to murder my family with a hammer.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-09-2011 17:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X When you text someone "are you still sleeping" you might as well text "wake up a$$hole."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-10-2011 13:47 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Everyone has the one mysterious toothbrush in the bathroom that nobody in your house uses or knows anything about.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-10-2011 14:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The two words that get me in the most trouble are "Why Not?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-10-2011 14:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-11-2011 12:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X When your computer asks "Are you sure?", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions you've made.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-11-2011 12:45 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I joke around a lot .... but when I'm serious I'm serious cuz seriousness is the serious way to deal with serious seriosities seriositating in the seriousosphere. Seriously.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-11-2011 13:29 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)