Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5917 of 6370
Attention all joined-at-the-hip couples: "Inseparable" and "Insufferable" sound alike for a reason.
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05-17-2010 09:50 by Joser
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I wonder if gay people ever say things like "Oh my god that is SO straight."
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05-17-2010 09:50 by Joser
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I'm about to conquer a mountain of BBQ meat so epic that my utensils are a beach towel, safety goggles, and police tape.
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05-17-2010 09:49 by Joser
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Lorie Goodman ...Is having my own tribute to Dio by Cranking the music up and blowing my eardrums out for! MORIN!
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05-17-2010 08:58
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practicing karate. You know - waxing on and off, painting the fence, sanding the floor,
Thinks MONDAY would be a good name for a Pitbull....BAD MONDAY.....BAD
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05-17-2010 08:53
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decided to burn some calories this weekend so I set a fat kid on fire.
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05-17-2010 07:45 by Leeferd
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One used and abused slightly broken heart for sale or trade for newer model
dyslexic which means never having to say that you're yrros
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life!!!!
NBA Wives is a better name than "The Ex-wives and ex-girlfriends of ex-Miami Heat players that weren't really that good except for maybe Shaq...
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05-17-2010 01:46 by geez
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falling off this rollercoaster of boredom and falling into the deep dardk depths of insanity. . .
Its funny how the Simpsons have been around for 21 years and they haven't aged a bit.
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05-17-2010 00:10 by Danmanz
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cannot stress enough that grammar is important: Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse
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05-16-2010 23:33
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Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold...
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05-16-2010 23:13
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I keep hitting the "escape" key...but I'm still here
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05-16-2010 22:58 by Vito
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Dear Mr. Ice Cream man: Please change your song.. That sh!t was played out in the 80's
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05-16-2010 22:54 by jdpower
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my cross-eyed teacher has a hard time keeping his pupils straight.
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05-16-2010 22:09 by mullerman
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wants to find the just released Winnie the Pooh cookbook. Doesn't matter that he doesn't cook, he just wants to own a book called "Cooking with Pooh".
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05-16-2010 22:04 by pulaski
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It kinda bugs me when people tell me that a book is a "real page turner". I think we all know how books work...
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05-16-2010 22:03 by pulaski
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