Leeferd Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Don't you wonder why people look back at the same spot when they trip over it? As if the sidewalk is going to talk back or laugh at them.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 10:13 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be a statute of limitations on how long a person gets to blame their crappy childhood for their shortcomings.
←Rate | 09-07-2010 08:46 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon It'll be a while before hearing a commentator say: "Tiger Woods struggles to come from behind" doesn't make me giggle.
←Rate | 06-21-2010 12:33 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone please tell me why in the hell someone would open a tanning salon in an all black neighborhood?
←Rate | 12-01-2010 19:16 by Leeferd Comments (3)  


   messageicon According to the segment on American Idol's "Idol Gives Back", they just showed $10 was able to purchase 90 lbs of food. Where do these people shop? I can't do that at Wal-Mart, Kroger, or any other place.
←Rate | 04-21-2010 23:17 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can people just go for a bike ride without having to dress up like some Lance Armstrong clone?
←Rate | 04-07-2010 07:40 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to pretend I'm a judge on "So You Think You Can Dance" when I'm at the strip club.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 05:59 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon NFL preseason games are like Cinemax porn. If you haven't seen the real thing in seven months, it gets the job done.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 21:31 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear gas station owners, instead of selling condoms and novelty items in your restrooms, how about you sell toilet paper that doesn't make your butthole bleed? Just a thought.
←Rate | 10-11-2010 08:35 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon need advice on how to make a paper cut to the jugular look like an accident.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 21:47 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Scent" is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 13:54 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes a big fish in a small pond is just a fat guy in a baby pool.
←Rate | 10-23-2010 11:15 by Leeferd Comments (4)  


   messageicon It's always nice to have a baker's dozen of something, unless it's like stab wounds or something.
←Rate | 05-18-2010 05:56 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever just met someone you want to put in a large trash bag filled with a couple cinder blocks and drop them from a bridge? No? Me neither.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 12:21 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon tired of these rock bands all sounding the same. They should all just rename themselves "Puddle of NickelCreed."
←Rate | 06-29-2010 08:30 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hiring someone attractive does necessarily not mean they will be a productive employee...unless this person is a prostitute.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 08:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it was irresponsible for the Cox Candy Company to make a lollipop. Who would walk into a candy store and ask for a Cox Sucker?
←Rate | 03-29-2010 10:46 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If "Vampire In Brooklyn" had been a bigger hit, we could have all lived the rest of our lives without these damn "Twilight" movies .
←Rate | 06-24-2010 08:31 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snap! Crackle! F*ck!? Did I just put something metal in the microwave?
←Rate | 07-22-2010 09:51 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear 5 Hour Energy, What in the HELL is your idea of this flavor you call "berry?" Dingle?!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 10:02 by Leeferd Comments (0)  



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