Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Casey Kasem found safe today in Washington state. Overheard nearby: "And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you darn kids." 
If you don't like Star Wars puns, you R2 boring for me.
It was a Hoax, Now ugly, homely, disfigured people may return to eatting at KFC !!!
'for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until' you eat the last star crunch and pee on the toilet seat
my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun
Damn, two gorillas in one week...
hates it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. For the fifth time, I do not want to go to your cat's birthday party, FREAK!...My dog is getting married
It's exactly like the elders described. "When the moon succumbs to the dragon..." something something what's on TV
My mom said were going on vacation somewhere in South Africa, she called it "Kanye West"
Women who carry a little extra weight live long than the men who mention it
Johnny Football requests as much publicity as possible during his rehab.
I bought an at home do it yourself a$$hole bleeching kit today...it said it contained enough solution to completely bleech one a$$hole...i thought I did it wrong,i was a little upset but i'm all white now
"So You Thought You Could Watch This Show About Dancing"
Happy first day of fall! ¡ƃuıɹds ɟo ʎɐp ʇsɹıɟ ʎddɐH
I hate it when I wake up next to someone and can't remember who they are, where I met them or how they died.
National No Bra Day was off the hook.
HER: "You've changed." ME: "Yes. I can't help it, I'm a transformer!"
Open Google Maps (Get Directions) 2: Type China as your starting point 3: Type Taiwan as your destination. 4: Read step 48
...yikes! saw a bunch of vegetarian zombies at the store today. all they could say was "GRRRAAAIIIIIINNNSSS"
Statistics show that plus size women are worth $10 billion to the fashion industry...ha ha that's nothing compared to what they're worth to the food industry! 