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markf Funny Status Messages
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Actually I don't think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
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04-17-2018 11:09 by
markf
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The last scene in Titanic with Jack and Rose wasted so many opportunities for a good knock-knock joke
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02-26-2018 14:10 by
markf
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Not sure who will be performing at the Super Bowl half-time this season but I am already furious about it
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09-26-2017 08:59 by
markf
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I think my dog needs training school because he rudely yawned in the middle of my stories.
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01-28-2018 20:03 by
markf
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Just remember son -- when you text a girl, you are also texting at least 5 of her friends.
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09-02-2017 23:44 by
markf
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Now that the government has re-opened I guess I have to stop removing these mattress tags
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01-23-2018 15:07 by
markf
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Someone just told me to take it one day at a time. I wish I had known there was another option.
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10-15-2017 00:37 by
markf
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Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
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01-24-2018 16:05 by
markf
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One of the great things about having kids is that you can check your pulse using the veins on the side of your head
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04-10-2018 15:21 by
markf
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Instead of buying a mass produced pumpkin at the store, this year my family will adopt one from a shelter
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10-22-2017 20:58 by
markf
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How to make a millenial laugh: tell them you have only 22 photos of your entire childhood.
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08-20-2017 09:46 by
MarkF
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I'm reaching the point where I really hope it's not possible to be annoyed to death.
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10-15-2017 00:19 by
markf
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I love talking to small children. No adult is ever going to ask me what my 3rd favorite dinosaur is.
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08-20-2017 09:27 by
Markf
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Next time you find yourself complaining on your $600 smartphone, put it down and rethink your life.
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09-16-2017 22:36 by
markf
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Yes, your smart devices can talk to each other now and they are giggling about you behind your back.
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01-20-2018 20:25 by
markf
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I'm pretty sure my $2 Sportsclips coupon already told you I am not interested in the $60 shampoo, but thanks for showing it to me anyway.
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09-12-2017 00:34 by
markf
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wondering what Captain Hook's name was before he lost his hand.
67
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11-18-2010 09:39 by
markf
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I think the best way to fight insomnia is redecorate my bedroom to look like Ms. Stewart's 10th grade math class
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02-23-2018 15:53 by
markf
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relieved to see Facebook finally expanded the Religion choice to include Amish, for all those Amish people out there with computers.
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10-12-2010 12:20 by
markf
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glad to hear that SeaWorld is reopening its "safer" shows this week featuring Norman, the Involuntary Manslaughter Whale.
57
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03-01-2010 07:51 by
markf
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