MWC Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You know I got to thinkin about it and I have gotten outta bed 365 days a year for 26 years...... that is 9,490 sit-ups and not ONE ab to show for it....
←Rate | 01-05-2015 19:02 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says "Help, need ride!"
←Rate | 11-26-2012 10:34 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
←Rate | 09-21-2012 08:05 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 08:03 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon She hit the brakes and I hit her, and this beautiful blond gets out and says "Ram me in the a$$ why don't you"! And here your honor is were it gets confusing
←Rate | 10-21-2012 15:50 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if the guy's not a vampire.
←Rate | 04-06-2014 20:55 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I traded in my wife's piano for a clarinet. You can't sing while playing a clarinet.
←Rate | 04-21-2013 19:32 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon "GOOD MORNING COFFEE"....Meet your maker!!!!
←Rate | 09-22-2012 09:19 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 10:06 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon "My Uncle Jennifer is going to be on Jerry Springer tomorrow!"
←Rate | 09-13-2012 19:32 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method.
←Rate | 11-08-2012 11:38 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon the Pope is in America with Obama and Hillary Clinton. if they don't walk into a bar, it's all for nothing!
←Rate | 09-24-2015 14:44 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
←Rate | 09-20-2012 14:30 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! People are definitely getting in the holiday spirit, CRABBY, GRABBY and RUDE!
←Rate | 12-11-2012 13:05 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket
←Rate | 07-27-2014 15:41 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I shouldn't have had that 14th cup of coffee... I CAN'T EVEN BLINK ANYMORE!
←Rate | 04-03-2013 10:05 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistics Show That Criminals Commit Less Crime After They’ve Been Shot
←Rate | 10-04-2015 10:48 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....
←Rate | 11-09-2012 07:57 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember, everyday is a gift from God. Except Mondays, the Devil sneaks that one in
←Rate | 06-15-2015 07:23 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I've only missed one day
←Rate | 10-15-2012 11:52 by MWC Comments (0)  



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