Lil-David Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Well since the government is shutdown that means he shouldn't be taking any taxes out of my next paycheck.
←Rate | 10-02-2013 15:05 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is "don't worry son everyone's doing that."
←Rate | 12-16-2013 10:07 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon We had a war on drugs, there were more drugs, war on terror and more terrorist, so for 2014 we need to have a war on money and jobs, it can't hurt!
←Rate | 12-27-2013 13:58 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part of waking up..... Is Bailey's In My Cup...
←Rate | 01-01-2014 10:23 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow I'm going to the homeless shelter and getting me some 2013 St Louis Cardinals World Series Champions shirts for free..
←Rate | 10-30-2013 22:15 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well it's almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
←Rate | 12-27-2013 14:50 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way my kids act at Walmart, it's just a matter of time before the security camera footage is a hit reality show!
←Rate | 09-19-2013 06:37 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I post political status on Facebook just to watch my friends battle each other like it's The Crips Vs Bloods...
←Rate | 12-16-2013 21:32 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should be able to text 911, just in case you're hiding from the crazy psycho killer in the trunk of a car...
←Rate | 01-17-2014 01:05 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon At my age.... It's always Happy Hour!
←Rate | 09-17-2013 21:04 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon The government shut down because of spending money he dont have- thats called bankruptcy and foreclosure.
←Rate | 10-02-2013 00:22 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)
←Rate | 09-20-2013 02:32 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!
←Rate | 09-20-2013 02:28 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give me a 12 pack... My final thought before making a decision!
←Rate | 09-19-2013 00:45 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid..They didnt call it ADHD.. They called it you getting a whoopin' you little brat!
←Rate | 09-17-2013 21:48 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I was walking down the street and a cop stop me, he asked me if I had a police record ...I said yes ....Every Breath You Take and Don't Stand So Close To Me........ Thank-God, I got bonded, my cellmate Roxanne was just a little weird!
←Rate | 10-15-2013 19:44 by Lil-David Comments (2)  


   messageicon The way my kids freak out on Christmas morning, that's the way I feel right before I open my breakfast beer!
←Rate | 12-24-2013 07:24 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I think Count Dracula was following me or possibly just a guy in a vampire halloween costume either way, the wooden stake worked!
←Rate | 09-17-2013 05:54 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if people with eye patches thought.....I See You!
←Rate | 09-19-2012 20:07 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not every idiot can read........But look at you go!
←Rate | 09-19-2013 07:09 by Lil-David Comments (0)  



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