mickeybruce Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? for the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
←Rate | 11-13-2010 18:42 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon going thru the airport scan today with a complete spiderman suit under my street clothes
←Rate | 11-24-2010 10:16 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates having to delete facebook "friends" that I like, even though they don't give a crap about me. I wish there was a facebook jail to put them in for 30 days.
←Rate | 11-12-2010 17:53 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon if being apathetic is wrong, then I don't care...
←Rate | 11-09-2010 12:20 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:30 by mickeybruce Comments (2)  


   messageicon has a feeling that the so-called "Highway To Hell" looks just like a Wal-Mart parking lot
←Rate | 11-11-2010 17:51 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon someday I'll sit down with my grandchildren to watch "Airplane" and they'll say, "I can't believe they used to just let people get on planes"
←Rate | 11-18-2010 18:10 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon you should probably just let your "Honor Student" drive. You are obviously an idiot.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 18:09 by mickeybruce Comments (2)  


   messageicon Mr. Peanut's last words: Bye, dear. Back in a Jif.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 12:47 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon making my own four loko in a blender: a bottle of vodka, 4 red bulls, a bottle of cherry nyquil and a McRib. I'll be in the bathroom if you need me.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 18:02 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon halfway through eating a horse and realized... I'm not as hungry as I thought
←Rate | 11-14-2010 17:48 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...thinks animal testing is a terrible idea. they get all nervous and give the wrong answers anyway
←Rate | 10-23-2010 17:35 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...roses are red, violets are blue, I'm doing my laundry so I don't smell like you.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 17:12 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...this year in California, the most popular Halloween mask is Arnold Schwartzenegger. The great thing about it is: with a mouthful of candy, you'll sound just like him!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 12:08 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Sorry, Christine O'Donnell, you are NOT smarter than a 5th grader. Thank you for playing, please accept these lovely parting gifts, and GTFO.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 17:54 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you're dressing up like Snooki tonight, allow me to help by rubbing Doritos all over you first ;)
←Rate | 10-29-2010 18:46 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders why hedgehogs don't just share the hedge...
←Rate | 11-14-2010 10:41 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon R.E.M. just recorded a new version of their '90s classic "Everybody Hurts" especially for their older fans. New title: "Everything Hurts"
←Rate | 10-18-2010 11:01 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News... President Obama travels to India to visit former American jobs...
←Rate | 11-05-2010 17:33 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't understand the the problem with "Don't Ask Don't Tell" - the Catholic Church has been using it for hundreds of years, and it's never been a problem
←Rate | 10-19-2010 10:13 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  



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