Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon "Dear Mother Nature: If you stop the cold and the snow and the wind I promise to stop calling you a whore."
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:04 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon just asked my son - where would you be without your mother? His answer: "Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger."
←Rate | 02-15-2012 18:20 by Maureen Comments (0)  

   messageicon Horror movies don't scare me. Five missed calls from my mother scares me.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 21:33 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon A string of stars tattooed on your chest is a great way to let everyone know you're a 22 year old single mother of 4 kids.
←Rate | 09-22-2013 23:23 by joshfrazier85 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To all the mothers: Happy Mother's Day. Don't let it go to your head. You are a working double tomorrow.
←Rate | 05-13-2012 12:12 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I wish Ted would just tell his poor kids how he met they're mother!!!"
←Rate | 09-12-2012 18:24 by MWC Comments (1)  

   messageicon When you first start dating a girl, they say to look at their Mother to see how they'll look as they age. However.....I feel very judgmental when their Mother is practically the same age as I am:)
←Rate | 05-12-2010 21:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon you know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 17:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon just changed my profile date of birth and was really loving all the attention until my mom wished me a Happy Birthday. My own mother didn't even know my real birthday is not until April.
←Rate | 09-09-2010 18:18 by Troy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow
←Rate | 12-06-2016 19:34 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do soccer players actually pay for those hair cuts or do they just find the first drunk guy with a weed eater and insult his mother?
←Rate | 06-26-2016 23:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother-in-law is a meteorologist. Well, not a meteorologist, but whatever it is called when you complain about the weather 6 times a day.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 13:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My 4 year old son is running around saying "Yippie-Kay-Yay" and it's taking everything I've got to keep from yelling "Mother-Fucker!" Yeah, I think I may seen "Die Hard" too many times.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 09:30 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!
←Rate | 05-11-2014 20:48 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 18:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?
←Rate | 08-24-2012 09:28 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother
←Rate | 03-19-2013 16:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When we were kids, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on our foreheads.
←Rate | 05-13-2012 08:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today I met a FOOL who has both, his girlfriend and her mother as friends on his Facebook.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 02:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother's Day: I'm sorry you almost died during those 36 hours you were pushing me out of your vagina. Take these chocolates I bought for you..
←Rate | 05-08-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  

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