Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'Mom or Mother': View All Messages
Page: 5 of 31

"Dear Mother Nature: If you stop the cold and the snow and the wind I promise to stop calling you a whore."
←Rate |
03-04-2010 21:04 by MG
Comments (0)

just asked my son - where would you be without your mother? His answer: "Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger."
←Rate |
02-15-2012 18:20 by Maureen
Comments (0)

Horror movies don't scare me. Five missed calls from my mother scares me.
←Rate |
09-11-2012 21:33 by BEGO
Comments (0)

A string of stars tattooed on your chest is a great way to let everyone know you're a 22 year old single mother of 4 kids.

To all the mothers: Happy Mother's Day. Don't let it go to your head. You are a working double tomorrow.
←Rate |
05-13-2012 12:12 by Baddie
Comments (0)

"I wish Ted would just tell his poor kids how he met they're mother!!!"
←Rate |
09-12-2012 18:24 by MWC
Comments (1)

When you first start dating a girl, they say to look at their Mother to see how they'll look as they age. However.....I feel very judgmental when their Mother is practically the same age as I am:)

you know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her.
←Rate |
01-22-2010 17:01 by Danmanz
Comments (0)

just changed my profile date of birth and was really loving all the attention until my mom wished me a Happy Birthday. My own mother didn't even know my real birthday is not until April.
←Rate |
09-09-2010 18:18 by Troy
Comments (0)

Named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow

Do soccer players actually pay for those hair cuts or do they just find the first drunk guy with a weed eater and insult his mother?
←Rate |
06-26-2016 23:02
Comments (0)

My mother-in-law is a meteorologist. Well, not a meteorologist, but whatever it is called when you complain about the weather 6 times a day.
←Rate |
12-09-2011 13:25
Comments (0)

My 4 year old son is running around saying "Yippie-Kay-Yay" and it's taking everything I've got to keep from yelling "Mother-Fucker!" Yeah, I think I may seen "Die Hard" too many times.
←Rate |
04-19-2010 09:30
Comments (1)

Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!

My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.

Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?
←Rate |
08-24-2012 09:28 by Czovczov
Comments (0)

Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother
←Rate |
03-19-2013 16:34
Comments (0)

When we were kids, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on our foreheads.
←Rate |
05-13-2012 08:10
Comments (0)

Today I met a FOOL who has both, his girlfriend and her mother as friends on his Facebook.
←Rate |
08-26-2011 02:33
Comments (0)

Mother's Day: I'm sorry you almost died during those 36 hours you were pushing me out of your vagina. Take these chocolates I bought for you..
←Rate |
05-08-2015 13:11
Comments (0)
[Search Results] [View All Messages]