Maureen Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When people ask me for advice, I tell them, “Use your best judgment,” which they clearly don't have if they are asking me for advice.
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:46 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever my children question my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that their mother is older than the Internet.
←Rate | 04-25-2013 21:11 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever anyone asks me who I'm on the phone with I say...."Jake, from State Farm!"
←Rate | 08-10-2012 09:25 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite yoga pose is the one where I stand upright, watching the class through the window while eating a cheeseburger.
←Rate | 04-26-2012 20:49 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon has found that when my son says "the other day", it can mean any time up to a year ago.
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out “Is anyone there?” I've seen the movies...those people always die!
←Rate | 02-13-2012 23:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hitting the treadmill to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress.......
←Rate | 06-11-2012 22:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kia recalls 146,000 US vehicles - there are gonna be a LOT of angry hamsters!
←Rate | 01-23-2012 19:00 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it”
←Rate | 02-25-2012 21:16 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, do it the way I told you!
←Rate | 02-13-2012 22:06 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Customer Service - Instead of monitoring this call for quality purposes, how about you just listen to what I need and fix it?!?
←Rate | 04-11-2012 19:42 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon The downside of being tolerant is all the stuff you have to tolerate.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 09:12 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why won't the machines just take over already? I'm tired of doing stuff.
←Rate | 04-02-2012 11:25 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my sons says, "I`ve cleaned my room," that usually means "I`ve made a path from the door to my bed."
←Rate | 02-25-2012 16:53 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon so passed caring about how I dress any more. I just put on whatever makes me not naked and hope for the best
←Rate | 07-18-2012 20:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing ruins your Friday faster than realizing it's only Wednesday.
←Rate | 08-01-2012 09:10 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon just finishing up my taxes and am now a little worried about my tax software. It just recommended I slip across the border into Mexico.
←Rate | 04-01-2012 22:31 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon What the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH What my kids read: Touch when nobody is looking
←Rate | 02-25-2012 21:14 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon just asked my son - where would you be without your mother? His answer: "Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger."
←Rate | 02-15-2012 18:20 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon - since it is the thought that counts...I'll just keep sitting here THINKING about being productive this evening
←Rate | 01-11-2012 20:40 by Maureen Comments (0)  



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