Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A string of stars tattooed on your chest is a great way to let everyone know you're a 22 year old single mother of 4 kids.
←Rate | 09-22-2013 23:23 by joshfrazier85 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dear Mother Nature: If you stop the cold and the snow and the wind I promise to stop calling you a whore."
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:04 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I wish Ted would just tell his poor kids how he met they're mother!!!"
←Rate | 09-12-2012 18:24 by MWC Comments (1)  


   messageicon When you first start dating a girl, they say to look at their Mother to see how they'll look as they age. However.....I feel very judgmental when their Mother is practically the same age as I am:)
←Rate | 05-12-2010 21:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 17:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do soccer players actually pay for those hair cuts or do they just find the first drunk guy with a weed eater and insult his mother?
←Rate | 06-26-2016 23:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow
←Rate | 12-06-2016 19:34 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother-in-law is a meteorologist. Well, not a meteorologist, but whatever it is called when you complain about the weather 6 times a day.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 13:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 4 year old son is running around saying "Yippie-Kay-Yay" and it's taking everything I've got to keep from yelling "Mother-Fucker!" Yeah, I think I may seen "Die Hard" too many times.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 09:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!
←Rate | 05-11-2014 20:48 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 18:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother
←Rate | 03-19-2013 16:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?
←Rate | 08-24-2012 09:28 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When we were kids, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on our foreheads.
←Rate | 05-13-2012 08:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I met a FOOL who has both, his girlfriend and her mother as friends on his Facebook.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 02:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother's Day: I'm sorry you almost died during those 36 hours you were pushing me out of your vagina. Take these chocolates I bought for you..
←Rate | 05-08-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just changed my profile date of birth and was really loving all the attention until my mom wished me a Happy Birthday. My own mother didn't even know my real birthday is not until April.
←Rate | 09-09-2010 18:18 by Troy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 22:37 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adam and Eve had an ideal relationship. He didn't have to hear about all the men Eve could have married, and she didn't have to hear about how well Adam's mother cooked.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 16:22 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Someone's been eating my porridge!", said Father bear. Mother bear sighed and poured him another bowl. Life was tough and draining for her, now that her husband was suffering from Alzheimer's.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 00:02 by manbearpig Comments (0)  



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