Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Nothing is sweeter than finding out that the cute boy who dumped you in the 12th grade lives in his mother's basement.
←Rate | 05-11-2010 21:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like Canada is the concerned child watching her aging mother (Britain) and weirdo big brother (United States) descend into chaos in 2016, unsure who to worry over first.
←Rate | 06-26-2016 22:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow
←Rate | 12-06-2016 19:34 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is "don't worry son everyone's doing that."
←Rate | 12-16-2013 10:07 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking at pictures of myself as a kid taken just after my mother cut my bangs makes me wonder what she used to mix in her Tang.
←Rate | 09-30-2020 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her.
←Rate | 02-06-2016 01:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.
←Rate | 12-31-2019 19:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”
←Rate | 06-17-2020 15:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay, the mice throw themselves on the traps.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 14:56 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your mother nodding solemnly on Antiques Roadshow as the appraiser explains that the ashtray you made for her in 1st grade is absolute crap...
←Rate | 11-16-2012 20:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Horror movies don't scare me. Five missed calls from my mother scares me.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 21:33 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon just asked my son - where would you be without your mother? His answer: "Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger."
←Rate | 02-15-2012 18:20 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a little girl, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 14:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A string of stars tattooed on your chest is a great way to let everyone know you're a 22 year old single mother of 4 kids.
←Rate | 09-22-2013 23:23 by joshfrazier85 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I wish Ted would just tell his poor kids how he met they're mother!!!"
←Rate | 09-12-2012 18:24 by MWC Comments (1)  


   messageicon When you first start dating a girl, they say to look at their Mother to see how they'll look as they age. However.....I feel very judgmental when their Mother is practically the same age as I am:)
←Rate | 05-12-2010 21:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 17:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon just changed my profile date of birth and was really loving all the attention until my mom wished me a Happy Birthday. My own mother didn't even know my real birthday is not until April.
←Rate | 09-09-2010 18:18 by Troy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do soccer players actually pay for those hair cuts or do they just find the first drunk guy with a weed eater and insult his mother?
←Rate | 06-26-2016 23:02 Comments (0)  




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