Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon The Co-op ran of out of milk again because of the bad weather. Thankfully Doreen, my 92 yr old neighbour, has loads of it piled up at her front door.
←Rate | 12-21-2010 07:44 by @clarkysj Comments (1)  


   messageicon what if she has a boyfriend.. Soccer has a goaly too ;)
←Rate | 01-04-2011 21:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it sad that I'm more excited for jersey shore tonight, then I was when the ball was dropping on new years eve???
←Rate | 01-06-2011 19:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon knows the world cannot end in 2012, because my GNC protein bars expire in 02/2013
←Rate | 01-09-2011 00:16 by Charles323 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i went up 2 my smartest friend and asked what does idk, g2g, and ttyl mean? and he said I dont know, got 2 go, and talk to you later. so I said fine! bye!
←Rate | 01-09-2011 17:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Best part of tonight is no alarm clock tomorrow
←Rate | 01-22-2011 12:49 by Carolynn Comments (0)  


   messageicon it seems like alot of people get great comments when they change there relationship status to "Single" so I'm gonna be in a temporary relationship just to let you all know I'm still single?
←Rate | 04-07-2010 17:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Pokemon is making a comeback... I want to bring back Pogs!
←Rate | 04-08-2010 21:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know who example555@hotmail.com is but I wish he would stop using my MSN Messenger.
←Rate | 05-02-2010 05:12 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A mother my have a thousand daughters but a daughter has only one mother
←Rate | 05-09-2010 12:28 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was all so different before everything changed.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 14:38 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard on and never, ever trust a fart." Jack Nicholson
←Rate | 01-28-2010 00:11 by Big Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I didn't use the bus,i would never have a man opening a door for me.
←Rate | 02-09-2010 20:41 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon making a list of why you suck
←Rate | 02-21-2010 00:33 by naritaeliani Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders... How do crazy people go through the forest?They take the psycho path.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I guess when they asked me to get the horse bridled and mount her, I did something completely wrong"
←Rate | 03-06-2010 18:30 by satixed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lou Gehrig didn't have Lou Gehrig's disease. What's next? We find out Hugh Downs doesn't have Down's syndrome?
←Rate | 08-28-2010 12:01 by geez Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that thinking about the thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think
←Rate | 09-12-2010 17:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No porn music has ever gone "bow-chicks-wow-wow" ever. EVER!
←Rate | 09-22-2010 15:16 Comments (0)  




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