Exercise Funny Status Messages

   If your dog is fat it means that you don't get enough exercise.

   I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

   My Dr told me to start my exercise program slowly, so today I drove past a store that sells sweatpants..

   I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

   Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?

   I really have no idea what a Kardashian is but,,,, From what I can gather, it's an exercise bike for basketball players.

   It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

   Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I'm 82.

   I tried exercise but I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

   My exercise tape is just various clips of me driving past the gym.

   I was on the exercise bike for almost 30 minutes just now. It was pretty easy. Tomorrow I may even try using the pedals.

   Tip to reduce weight: first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right, repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

   I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothes. If I had any I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

   I exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah's Fitness.

   I'm so glad television redefined the word "marathon" to mean the exact opposite of physical exercise.

   I’d exercise more often if running didn’t spill the whiskey in my glass.

   My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.

   If anything the Lance Armstrong confession confirms my belief that exercise leads to deceitful behavior.

   When I exercise at the gym, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.

   The nutritional facts on a box should just tell you the amount of exercise needed to burn off what you're about to eat.