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Dont lose the girl of your life, for the hoe of the night.
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07-08-2012 22:45 by
BEGO
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"Oh, I already have that one." Is a good thing to say when someone shows you a picture of their kid
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07-10-2012 14:28 by
snotty
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i just spelled a word so incorrectly that spell check just enrolled me back into school
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03-12-2012 10:34 by
@shaunpatrick01
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My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it.
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03-12-2012 13:42 by
Nobody
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just finishing up my taxes and am now a little worried about my tax software. It just recommended I slip across the border into Mexico.
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04-01-2012 22:31 by
Maureen
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Why isn't cat food made from birds, mice and squirrels??
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12-29-2013 18:01
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Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
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01-03-2014 15:34 by
HiYourJon
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█████ government ███ is ███ your █ friend ████. Trust ██ us ███ to ██████████ know ██ ████ what's ██ best ████ for ██████████ you ██.
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01-17-2014 16:46
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Tip of the day: Don't piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.
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01-19-2014 09:35 by
Baddie
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If you don't believe we're degenerating into a world of illiterates, just read a few pages of this board.
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02-04-2014 09:26 by
George
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Time heals all wounds. Except sucking chest wounds. You should see a doctor about that.
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02-09-2014 08:18 by
flinnie
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Man, kids really do ask some tough questions. One just came up to me and said “what’s Nicolas Cage’s worst film?” I mean how do you even answer that?
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03-06-2014 05:17 by
flinnie
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Spider-man has been unmasked in all his last 4 films. If I was him, I wouldn't even bother dressing up.
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03-09-2014 12:33
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Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
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04-30-2014 01:23
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eHarmony just matched me with a gloryhole at a truck stop outside of Billings, Montana. I think this may be the one, guys.
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05-04-2014 06:46
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"And that's why we can't have nice things." *me looking at my pay check
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05-10-2014 18:07 by
snotty
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Actually, Jon Bon Jovi, it's Courtney that gave 'Love' a bad name
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05-31-2015 12:02
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Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair??? I haven't seen that much photoshop since a Lord of the Rings movie.
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06-02-2015 05:15
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Sex is great and all, but have you ever had someone scratch your back exactly where it itches?
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06-24-2015 13:44 by
Czovczov
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Instead of buying all my kids' school supplies, I just bought a Staples store. Saved like four grand.
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08-06-2015 16:59
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