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Neighbor's python just swallowed my Paula Abdul CD. He's a cold hearted snake.
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06-09-2020 14:07
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Dear YouTube: Please just assume that I'd like to "skip ad". You don't need to ask anymore.
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06-17-2020 15:22
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If I had known the kind of people my classmates would grow up to be. I would have beaten a lot more of them up.
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07-17-2020 07:52
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Honk if you are flying south for the winter in a V formation.
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11-12-2021 14:14
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Politician: someone who only opens their mouth to change feet.
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01-25-2022 07:32
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"Mmmm. I like that. That smells nice. I'm gonna piss on it." - Dogs. And R. Kelly.
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12-30-2011 10:27
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There's too many people out here who have the balls to state their opinion. But not enough balls to be that person who makes ish happen.
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04-12-2012 21:43 by
BEGO
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Judging from the numerous semi-naked profile pics I come across on facebook, I would say the porn industry will never have to worry about shortage of labour.
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10-19-2011 09:59
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In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.
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11-30-2011 16:07
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I gave up "Olympic Synchronized Swimming" for lent....This is gonna be tough!
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02-23-2012 09:29 by
totalpackage
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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well
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02-25-2012 10:02
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Its better to have loved and lost, then stay with that psyco one more sec
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02-25-2012 14:26
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There's that little bit of you that secretly thinks you'll be famous some day.
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10-12-2011 16:59 by
g0re
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Heat wave....ts above 25 degrees for the 2nd straight day!!
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02-12-2011 08:47
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I'm not tall enough to ride my own emotional roller coaster.
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07-07-2013 16:17
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Don't listen to your heart. It has no idea what's good for you.
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02-17-2013 13:24
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Silence is only golden when the person you really want to shut up does it.
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03-02-2013 01:54
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The way things are going in Washington, it probably won't be long until you'll have to get a permit just to shoot the breeze.
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03-09-2013 08:25
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Alphabet soup is just soup when you can't read
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03-28-2013 14:32 by
J. Frazier102185
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Its not you, it's how you don't make me sandwiches.
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04-05-2013 13:12
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