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You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
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08-18-2010 19:55
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It's so annoying when someone keeps talking after you've interrupt them.
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08-19-2010 16:44
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Don't be mad because we bumped shoulders when passing. You didn't move either.
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08-20-2010 09:03
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Whoever decided that a one inch Mars bar should be called 'fun size' needs to seriously re-examine their standards for entertainment.
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12-12-2009 04:50 by
lemonpillow
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Im starting to believe that PMS stands for - penis must suffer :(
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12-18-2009 08:31
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, I asked my husband: "Do you want dinner?" My husband said, "Sure, what are my choices?" I said, "Yes or no."
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02-28-2010 00:46
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wonders if Lil' Wayne will hear "lick it like a lollipop, son" now that he's in jail.
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03-03-2010 07:54
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My husband and I have never considered divorce...murder sometimes, but never divorce.
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10-25-2010 13:56 by
Heather25
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making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions
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12-08-2010 19:48 by
smeebert
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this a political message board or a status site ?
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07-15-2016 02:08 by
alan
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I often wonder what tomatoes did to make the other fruits disown them and force them to live as vegetables.
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06-04-2012 14:21 by
Aaron
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If cinderella's shoe really did fit perfectly, then why exactly did it fall off in the first place?
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06-18-2012 13:04 by
StonerDudee
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Why is that girls in tamp0n commercials dance and laugh? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burn!ng sh!t down?
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12-08-2011 20:42 by
g0re
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Cops: “Please step out of the car” Me: “I can't. I'm drunk. You get in.
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12-14-2011 02:14
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My Boss Asked Me to Start The Presentation With a Joke. “I Attached My Payslip On the First Slide.”
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05-23-2012 12:25
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I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.
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03-05-2012 09:53 by
SuthernFukr
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Scientists plan to clone a woolly mammoth and bring the prehistoric creature back to life. I sure don't see what could go wrong there.
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03-13-2012 12:55 by
SuthernFukr
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I've finally collected enough rats asses to give to everyone on my list.
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03-26-2012 18:44 by
Marshall the Great
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I've spent at least 15% of my life pulling a chain & trying to figure out if the ceiling fan is speeding up or slowing down.
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04-03-2012 10:42 by
SuthernFukr
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Most common lie used by women.... "I dont usually do this the first night"
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10-14-2011 16:49 by
OsamaBinDead
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