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Winning a fight with your wife, is like winning a vacation to Detroit... Don't get too excited
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05-25-2015 17:10 by
snotty
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If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
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11-07-2015 13:06
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I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector last night.The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
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01-12-2016 10:39
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Let's start a charity where we give cats to people who say goodnight to social networking sites.
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02-28-2014 05:35 by
Huck
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At my age, Friends with Insurance Benefits sounds just as appealing.
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04-05-2014 21:44 by
BEGO
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You play the victim so well, I'm surprise you don't carry around your own piece of chalk.
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11-04-2013 11:29
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Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
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12-02-2013 06:55
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The best thing about Valentine's Day is that it's over.
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02-16-2014 02:43 by
Udit
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the deputy in the van did NOT think it was funny when I pulled along side the striped uniform worker and yelled "QUICK, GET IN!"
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01-28-2011 00:19 by
Tommy Chevelle
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I'm having one of those days where when I get home I'm going to lean against the door, and slide down it while dramatically sighing.
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01-28-2011 15:00 by
Marshall the Great
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I want to know... when someone says they are going to kick your ass, why do they punch you in the face?
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02-10-2011 17:39
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anyone going to tell America's Funniest Home Videos about youtube?
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02-15-2011 23:59 by
BEGO
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Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?
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03-02-2011 21:09 by
RoN
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If your relationship has more issues than a magazine stand then I suggest you cancel that subscription!
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03-24-2011 08:29 by
city718
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Dear Tampax... a few thoughts.. World peace.. Vibrating tampons... you're welcome.
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08-15-2011 10:26 by
Kent S.
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The Pinky Toe:The most sensitive part of your body when it comes to finding furniture in the Dark.
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08-20-2011 16:25 by
JBabcock
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Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
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04-27-2011 12:14 by
BEGO
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I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
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05-04-2011 16:17 by
BEGO
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I miss the good old days when rock stars abused drugs and alchohol. Now they abuse auto-tune and Photoshop.
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05-06-2011 07:59
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Just bought me a medical alert bracelet that says... "probably just sh!tfaced"
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09-18-2011 06:54
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