Huck Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I’m “you can only play video games on channel 3” years old.
←Rate | 12-11-2017 04:37 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
←Rate | 01-23-2016 06:49 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Based on how I react when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 12:57 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter
←Rate | 02-17-2014 05:24 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon How long do I need to be in therapy before I forget the time in gym class when I was hit in the stomach with a dodge ball and farted?
←Rate | 09-03-2014 10:29 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
←Rate | 10-08-2013 05:32 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’ve found the best way to learn your co-workers’ names is by eating their food in the office fridge
←Rate | 12-30-2013 07:27 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Cowboys just signed a "No Super Bowl for six more years" contract today
←Rate | 03-30-2013 07:55 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 15:43 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don't know the man & he doesn't know you're eating his popcorn
←Rate | 08-02-2013 06:03 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today I went to work w/my clothes inside out and had chocolate pudding and popcorn for dinner. Wife has been gone ONE DAY & I am a toddler.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 19:15 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
←Rate | 08-07-2012 08:52 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport
←Rate | 01-10-2014 05:35 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people ask me what I did over the weekend, I always squint and respond “Why, what did you hear?”
←Rate | 10-10-2014 05:26 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver
←Rate | 08-22-2013 05:36 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let's start a charity where we give cats to people who say goodnight to social networking sites.
←Rate | 02-28-2014 05:35 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider's web.
←Rate | 09-03-2012 07:58 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
←Rate | 02-11-2015 05:34 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
←Rate | 09-30-2014 05:28 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can't conjugate verbs.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 06:24 by Huck Comments (0)  

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