love Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes, I say weird things during intercourse, like "I love you" and/or "Please look directly into the camera and say you have agreed to this."

   Dear Air Traffic Contollers, It's not enought that the FAA has security patting down 6 year olds, but for the love of God, take a six pack of Red Bull in a cooler with you when you go to work at night. Sincerely, the public.

   "'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say. 'Sort of.' It's just a filler. 'Sort of' - it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, 'sort of' means everything. Like after 'I love you' or 'You're going to live' or 'It's a boy.'"

   If you love to make your own homemade beef jerky, don't get a vanity tag for your vehicle that says "LUV2JERK." People will laugh at you.

   Make love to a woman's mind, and her body will follow in kind

   "A gripping tale of love and survival..." is how one reviewer described me tumbling down the stairs while trying to retrieve a stray M&M.

   I love eavesdropping on people's private conversations. Always hoping I hear something that leads to me foiling a terrorist plot.

   Alcohol poisoning must suck. I can't imagine what it's like being poisoned by the one you love

   hey punk below, you love winning then get the helll out of here

   who you love is a reflection of how you love yourself...

   Happiness isn't getting what you love, it's loving what you get...

   "I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don't see me making an account pretending to be a chicken nugget do you.

   I'm asian, but not "me love you long time" asian.

   Sing as if no one is listening, work as if someone is watching, make love as if you need the money, and dance as if no one is going to post it on Youtube."

   Just because I don't like you doesn't mean I want you to stop being in love with me.

   I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.

   Its hard to love someone you don't trust. Its even harder to love someone who doesn't trust you.

   I really want someone to love me unconditionally, but I really can’t afford a puppy right now.

   wow I love how your face is 5 shades darker than your neck

   Love can be such a beautiful torture...