father OR dad Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'father OR dad': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 18

   messageicon Another successful year no random father's day cards in the mail!!!
←Rate | 06-17-2014 19:05 by Zack Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was talking to the local kids last night, telling them they are ruining what our fore father's created. One kid said, "my mom sleeps around but I ain't got four fathers!". I shook my head and got his mom's number.
←Rate | 06-22-2019 17:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
←Rate | 09-27-2011 00:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon He's really got his father's scalp.
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:52 by Geoffrey B Comments (0)  

   messageicon What an idiot that Maury is, inviting me onto his "Father's Day DNA special"..... I don't even have any kids.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 12:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your father never hugged you as a child then Rugby is the perfect sport for you.
←Rate | 10-09-2011 05:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time a white guy sags his pants, somewhere in the world, a black baby grows up with a father.
←Rate | 12-27-2011 06:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”
←Rate | 10-05-2011 12:50 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let's not forget a Happy Father's day to all the Sugar Daddies out there.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 14:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon So I Went to pick up my date for homecoming, Her father said make sure she is home and in bed before 11PM, I Said " Don't worry Sir, I'll have her in bed by 830" :D
←Rate | 10-03-2013 13:47 by Ajdo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Speaking of Fathers Day... The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
←Rate | 06-18-2011 23:45 by SteveOH Comments (0)  

   messageicon Still no Fathers Day card from my kids. Just because they are short, furry and talk funny is no excuse....it's hard being a single father.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 08:13 by K-Mac Comments (0)  

   messageicon Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!
←Rate | 07-20-2017 15:55 by Yaj Comments (0)  

   messageicon RIP ... George Jefferson.....Father of Swag
←Rate | 07-25-2012 07:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Father inlaw: A priest who is also a lawyer.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:24 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I forgot to buckle my 5 year old up in the car today, and while leaving the parking lot, this guy yells, "You're an irresponsible father!". I was like, "What the hell is that guy's problem? Stop the car son!"
←Rate | 07-28-2012 11:48 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon "The Empire Strikes Back" is SO unrealistic... No WAY the black guy would ever admit to being the father.
←Rate | 11-13-2013 21:12 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that the mother and father bear from Goldilocks and the 3 bears had some relationship issues as evident from the fact that they had separate beds!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 22:36 by Tarwadi Comments (0)  

   messageicon My father of the year hopes and dreams were crushed the moment I joined Facebook.
←Rate | 10-03-2013 13:42 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon To all the women I've dated. If we have a secret love child together that you never told me about, just have them get me a giftcard for Father's Day. Thanks!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 20:06 by @Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left