Funny Status Messages Search

X is regrets to inform you that due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-05-2009 15:58 by Yaj Comments (0)

X says curiosity overpowers knowledge.. Now I have a midget transvestite prostitue knocking on my door

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-11-2009 08:53 by Yaj Comments (0)

X feels like pile-driving his whiny coworker thru a thick glass table bound with barbed wire into a pool of rubbing alcohol with rusty nails and then set it on fire and drink a beer...

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-26-2009 11:15 by Yaj Comments (0)

X thinks 'friends with benefits' should came with a health care package..

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-21-2009 15:04 by Yaj Comments (0)

X has peeled so many labels off of beer bottles, he'll be able to wallpaper the room that he'd eventually have sex in with them

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-05-2009 15:44 by Yaj Comments (0)

X is wondering if he's the only one who thinks the lady who got attacked by a chimp and showed her face on Oprah looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-12-2009 08:56 by Yaj Comments (0)

X woke up and thought his alarm clock was laughing out loud at him... Then I realized I was looking at it upside down, it was 7:07

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-02-2009 08:24 by Yaj Comments (0)

X is upset that facebook won't let him start a relationship with himself

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-15-2009 23:46 by Yaj Comments (0)

X thinks the armed forces needs to enlist ninjas..who's ever looking for a ninja?

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-18-2009 10:52 by Yaj Comments (0)

X giving up Status Updates for lent

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-21-2009 11:25 by Yaj Comments (0)

X wondering if anybody ever won the lottery playing the lucky numbers in fortune cookies

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-06-2010 13:32 by Yaj Comments (0)

X says wondering why Band*Aid doesnt make ethnically colored bandages

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-07-2010 10:57 by Yaj Comments (0)

X wondering what ever happened to the hole in the ozone layer, did global warming heat it shut?

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-12-2010 12:33 by Yaj Comments (0)

X says "Eating habits? You wanna know my eating habits? Well everytime I have to take a sh!t it's an emergency, hows that?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-18-2010 14:14 by Yaj Comments (0)

X wants to remind all you out there that the proper way to annunciate it is "ValentiNes day" - not valentiMes day

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-27-2010 16:42 by Yaj Comments (0)

X is in bed by 9, and home by 11..

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-22-2010 12:23 by Yaj Comments (0)

X was riding the escalator the other day, and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half..

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-17-2010 08:31 by Yaj Comments (2)

X says according to maxipad commercials, all women are full of winshield washer fluid

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-05-2010 14:48 by Yaj Comments (2)

X wonders at what point in a proctologists life do they decide, 'When I grow up, I want to be sure everyones a$$ho!e is puckered up and functional!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-09-2010 13:45 by Yaj Comments (0)

X going to get a tattoo that says "Live Without Regrets", and have it spelled wrong.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-12-2010 15:56 by Yaj Comments (2)