Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon ..Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 14:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 14:42 by E Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 14:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hopes this Halloween, he doesn't end up with a bag full of restraining orders again.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 14:23 by E Comments (0)  

   messageicon Silly Balloon Boy Dad. The only way you can get away with lying to the American people and toying with their emotions is to be a politician.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 11:31 by Monica Comments (0)  

   messageicon .ʇı ʎuǝp oʇ ʎɹʇ ʇ,uop .ʍou ʇɥbıɹ ʎɐʍɐ puıɯ ɹnoʎ buıʍo1q
←Rate | 10-19-2009 10:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon my children are ARE well behaved!! everyone just has high standards
←Rate | 10-19-2009 09:18 by rob Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Reality Check bounced.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 02:40 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 02:37 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders if Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
←Rate | 10-19-2009 02:36 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  

   messageicon my husband said he wanted me to tease him, so I said "Alright, fatty." I guess that's not what he meant. :(
←Rate | 10-19-2009 02:30 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  

   messageicon spooning with the cat tonight.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 01:41 by toddofwar Comments (0)  

   messageicon keeping his hands clapping and his pecker in his pants...
←Rate | 10-18-2009 18:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶*´¨`* That's me granting you a wish. Simply comment your wish below and got it! LOL....
←Rate | 10-18-2009 17:30 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  

   messageicon insists that EL Cucuy lives in her closet!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 17:22 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  

←Rate | 10-18-2009 17:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon BREAKING NEWS - Obama just won an Oscar for watching a movie!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 16:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"
←Rate | 10-18-2009 15:12 by harry hocking Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."
←Rate | 10-18-2009 15:07 by harry hocking Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why people think bartenders care about your misrable life. We dont! Now leave some cash and be on your way!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 14:20 Comments (0)  

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