Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Everything you'll never be.
←Rate | 08-15-2009 20:51 by Hayley | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't see tomorrow with yesterday's eyes.
←Rate | 08-15-2009 20:49 by Hayley | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to a restaurant today and there was a big sign ---> "Employees caught speaking Spanish will be paid in Pesos."
←Rate | 08-15-2009 20:44 by Mozzam | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon didn't do it. For the mood: guilty
←Rate | 08-15-2009 12:28 by Mary | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon typing the postcodes of nudist colonies into Google Earth and pressing 'zoom'.
←Rate | 08-15-2009 12:02 by Mehface Comments (0)  


   messageicon like a lawyer....I'm just trying to get you off!
←Rate | 08-15-2009 11:08 by Mike | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not lonely, I'm just selective!
←Rate | 08-15-2009 11:05 by Mike | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever you fall, pick something up.
←Rate | 08-15-2009 10:12 by D | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon says too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.
←Rate | 08-15-2009 10:10 by D | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon those who wish to sing, always find a song. =)
←Rate | 08-15-2009 10:09 by D | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for meddling those kids
←Rate | 08-15-2009 09:22 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
←Rate | 08-15-2009 01:26 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking about starting a puppy mill and marketing the dogs as "Free Range Puppies". Pure Genius!!!!!
←Rate | 08-14-2009 23:11 by Scott | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon highly recommended and there's no need for a second opinion.
←Rate | 08-14-2009 19:47 by The Beautiful Michelle | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon would be serving a dime if being fine was a crime
←Rate | 08-14-2009 19:42 by The Beautiful Michelle | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon counted to infinity - twice.
←Rate | 08-14-2009 17:24 by Peebs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Comes to earth when mars gets boring
←Rate | 08-14-2009 14:11 by Joe c Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't want a happy ending... that implies something has to end. Me... I want a fantastic right now!
←Rate | 08-14-2009 10:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Woman.......A mystery that will never be solved.
←Rate | 08-14-2009 10:47 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking the sun is out might just work on my six pack!!!ithey should be cold enough now
←Rate | 08-14-2009 10:00 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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