Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon trying to fill in the blank........
←Rate | 08-18-2009 09:09 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon cant help but wonder when they'll start making porn in 3D, since that seems to be the new fad with movies.
←Rate | 08-18-2009 02:31 by Trevor Hall | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if vegetarians eat animal crackers?
←Rate | 08-18-2009 01:10 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon should not be taken if you take nitrates for chest pain as he may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure
←Rate | 08-17-2009 23:49 by Etdefender | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon loving food and thinks cows have the life!
←Rate | 08-17-2009 23:46 by MJ | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna sing karaoke over the Wal-Mart intercom tonight
←Rate | 08-17-2009 21:04 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon one idea and been thinking of it all day......
←Rate | 08-17-2009 20:01 by David Joseph Moak Jr. | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon made 5000 USD selling fake Pokémon outside a Special School for mentally retarded children
←Rate | 08-17-2009 17:42 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
←Rate | 08-17-2009 17:28 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
←Rate | 08-17-2009 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to thespread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
←Rate | 08-17-2009 12:06 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
←Rate | 08-17-2009 11:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bought myself a new roll-on deodorant today. Instructions said 'Take off top and push up bottom'. Five hours I spent in casualty
←Rate | 08-17-2009 06:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon enjoys breaking chain e-mails. His luck has remained good and none of his parts have fallen off.
←Rate | 08-17-2009 00:47 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon takes "American Midol" to alleviate the cramping and bloating caused from all the hype surrounding that vapid show.
←Rate | 08-17-2009 00:45 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon suggests to those interviewing for a job, not to ask the secretary if she'll sit on your lap during the interview.
←Rate | 08-17-2009 00:21 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon hopes he never becomes wise enough to have his wisdom teeth removed
←Rate | 08-17-2009 00:08 by kd | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Do Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
←Rate | 08-16-2009 22:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
←Rate | 08-16-2009 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
←Rate | 08-16-2009 22:05 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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