Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:
Page: 5810 of 5956

   messageicon loves squirrels... natures speed bumps
←Rate | 09-25-2009 14:26 by blakeyboo | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you don't like gay people... blame the str8 people...they're the ones who keep having gay babies.
←Rate | 09-25-2009 12:58 by Graydon Comments (0)  

   messageicon if God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!!!
←Rate | 09-25-2009 11:07 by SCURRY | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks it's funny to watch people who drive Hummers, swerve to avoid potholes
←Rate | 09-25-2009 06:02 by Hunter Comments (0)  

   messageicon "the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source." – George Washington
←Rate | 09-24-2009 23:51 by Daniel Heck Comments (1)  

   messageicon just dropped skittles in the toilet and flushed....... it was like a 10 second Nascar race
←Rate | 09-24-2009 23:25 by TK Comments (0)  

   messageicon has decided his unmade bed is art in another medium and should not destroy it!!
←Rate | 09-24-2009 23:18 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tommorow I am going to finish every conversation with "ACCORDING TO THE PROPHECIES"
←Rate | 09-24-2009 21:02 by Daniel Comments (0)  

   messageicon having mid-golf crises.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 20:07 by willybear | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering..If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?
←Rate | 09-24-2009 16:46 by haha | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Laugh…and the world laughs with you. Laugh hysterically, for no apparent reason, and they'll leave you alone.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 13:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hang on a sec, I'm about this close to getting the hi-score on Donkey Kong!!
←Rate | 09-24-2009 11:54 by Taj Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not asleep, I'm checking my eyelids for holes
←Rate | 09-24-2009 10:48 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants to know whats up with girls and big-ass sunglasses. You don't pollinate flowering plants.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 09:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you think about it, the United Nations is the world's HOA.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 09:50 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon just got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with... "according to the prophecy"
←Rate | 09-24-2009 05:22 by Ace Comments (0)  

   messageicon the problem with being punctual is that there is rarely anyone there to appreciate it
←Rate | 09-24-2009 05:21 by Ace Comments (0)  

   messageicon This weekends forecast... Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out
←Rate | 09-24-2009 03:24 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 02:02 by krishna thadeshwar | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon you say tomato I say get out of my bedroom.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 01:09 by LB | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left