Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Think about yesterday as if it'll never come back; Live your day as if you'll die tomorrow; and plan ur tomorrow as if u`ll live forever..
←Rate | 10-10-2009 21:56 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wishes he was a white crayon, so no one would use me...
←Rate | 10-10-2009 21:16 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

   messageicon says my wife just accused me of being self-centered.... I nearly fell off my throne!
←Rate | 10-10-2009 21:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jesus saves..., He passes to Moses!; Moses shoots!..., HE SCORES!!
←Rate | 10-10-2009 21:03 by Peebs Comments (0)  

   messageicon busier than a one toothed man at a corn on the cob eating contest!!!
←Rate | 10-10-2009 14:09 by Sellers82FB | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, a sentencewithoutspaces...
←Rate | 10-10-2009 14:06 by sellers82FB Comments (0)  

   messageicon i would give you a dozen roses, 11 real and 1 fake, then tell you that I will love you till the last one dies...
←Rate | 10-10-2009 14:00 by sellers82FB Comments (0)  

   messageicon did you hear about that kid napping? yeah the poor kid just woke up..
←Rate | 10-10-2009 13:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon angrier than a piano player in a marching band.
←Rate | 10-10-2009 11:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon searching for a Nobel Prize on ebay......
←Rate | 10-10-2009 07:59 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you see the new scratch off Lotto tickets at the Quikee mart? The jackpot is a Nobel peace prize!
←Rate | 10-10-2009 01:10 by Tim Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear NASA, thank you for wasting 75 million government dollars to bomb the moon because you THOUGHT you saw "ice"..... I mean really? I think I see ice in a pothole on my block, can I have 200 mortar rounds and a launch tube so I can make sure I'm right?
←Rate | 10-09-2009 22:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just found out there is no popcorn in popcorn chicken!!!!! I guess there is no point in eating HASH browns is there?
←Rate | 10-09-2009 19:39 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon blue balls isnt something you just play with at a park
←Rate | 10-09-2009 18:27 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon at the top of the food chain. That's just the way I do things.
←Rate | 10-09-2009 17:50 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon has a request…if something should happen to me would someone change my status and harvest my farm town crops?
←Rate | 10-09-2009 16:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon got a call this morning at 5:30 and found out I won the Nobel Peace Prize because I thought peace sounded like a good idea. I turned them down becuase I hadn't done anything to win it. Anyone here who the runner up was?
←Rate | 10-09-2009 16:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nobel Prizes are not for what you are "trying" to do, they are for what you have actually achieved. I nominate myself for a Nobel Prize in Medicine for my "efforts" in finding a cure for hangovers.
←Rate | 10-09-2009 11:32 by danimal88 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never critisize your wife's judgment. . . .look who she married
←Rate | 10-09-2009 10:50 by Irwin Smith Comments (0)  

   messageicon NASA is only bombing the moon to help get rid of werewolves...
←Rate | 10-09-2009 09:13 Comments (0)  

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