Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon half price concert tickets in july in London...anyone?
←Rate | 06-25-2009 20:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Undertakers have announced that now michael Jackson has died he's gonna be melted down to make toys, so the kids can play with him for a change!
←Rate | 06-25-2009 19:47 by Pete N Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if Michael Jackson's Heart was telling the Defibrillator to just Beat It?
←Rate | 06-25-2009 18:55 by Vybe Comments (0)  


   messageicon it aint gonna suck it self mama!
←Rate | 06-25-2009 16:54 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon in a complicated relationship with Jade Goody
←Rate | 06-25-2009 16:36 by RichieG | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon being a twat, and would advise you to do the same thing
←Rate | 06-25-2009 15:52 by alex | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists have found a ground breaking, all natural way to cure insomnia. They call it church.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 11:57 by mat2sm00th Comments (0)  


   messageicon im about as happy as oj after his trial
←Rate | 06-25-2009 11:31 by the wilson | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves it when you call me big pappa.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon decided to stop listenin to the voices in his head..
←Rate | 06-25-2009 08:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon swaggin', surfin', and clean like dish detergent!
←Rate | 06-25-2009 08:24 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon does not want to be bothered today...just tell everyone I'm hiking on the Appalachian Trail.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 08:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon on facebook 50 hours a day. And is struggling with maths.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 07:57 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon can no longer hula hoop. At least I can still blow bubbles. And to my sicker friends, don't ask who Bubbles is.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 07:55 by Suzanne Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering what chairs would look like if your knees bent the other way....
←Rate | 06-25-2009 05:38 by Pete N Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't find Sesame Street on his GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
←Rate | 06-25-2009 00:35 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is worse than divorce.. I've lost half of my assets and I still have my wife.!!!!
←Rate | 06-24-2009 19:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off
←Rate | 06-24-2009 19:12 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I borrowed my friend a tenner yesterday. This morning I found pictures of myself on the frontpage of most national newspaper with the following headline 'UK's third biggest lender'!
←Rate | 06-24-2009 19:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves the jobs you hate!!!!
←Rate | 06-24-2009 16:22 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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