Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4922 of 6382
may the 5th of jack be with you
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05-05-2011 12:12
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Just found out my "Sleep Number" is good Old Number 7 good ole Jack Daniels
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05-05-2011 11:47 by SEAN
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The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup, but the worst part of waking up is Folgers out your ass.
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05-05-2011 11:42 by JimJR89
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Cheated on Facebook with my real life today.
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05-05-2011 11:33 by BEGO
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If you see a profile pic with 1 fat girl and 1 pretty girl and can't figure out who's profile it is, make no mistakes… it's the fat one's.
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05-05-2011 11:31 by BEGO
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got a phone call asking to donate clothes for the starving people of the world..I laughed so hard I cried..if they can fit in my clothes they ain't starvin'!
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05-05-2011 10:51
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Cinco de mayo : or as I call it...The day that all the people who complain about Mexicans all the sudden want to celebrate their holiday just so they have a reason to drink today..
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05-05-2011 10:48
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I can always tell when it is Senior Citizen Discount Day at the grocery near my house. All the blue parking spaces are double parked.
For you GRINGOS who want to celebrate Cinco de Mayo the right way, you'll need the following: A Loud Mariachi Band, Fajitas, Chihuahua Races in the Backyard, Have all of your guests carpool in one car, and lots of Corona and Tequila! ¡Viva la raza!
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05-05-2011 10:10
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Cinco De Mayo, the only day Americans want to be Mexican
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05-05-2011 10:04
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Happy Cinco de Mayonnaise!
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05-05-2011 10:04 by JRF
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Marie Osmond remarried her first husband 26 years after their divorce. I wish her and Donny all the best
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05-05-2011 09:56
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Oops....Apparently throwing fireworks at people in McDonald's parking lot & yelling Happy Cinco De Mayo is frowned upon : (
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05-05-2011 09:45 by Bill
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a mariachi band, is making fajitas, and organizing chihuahua races in the backyard to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. You know you want to be here...
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05-05-2011 09:14 by Boomernic
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For those who will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with "authentic" 36% beef tacos, we pray to the Lord.
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05-05-2011 09:14 by Bill
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Happy Cinco de drinko, Viva la tequila!!
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05-05-2011 08:58 by Wolf
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So, just wondering...Is the Navy seal who shot Bin Laden going to get the 25 million bounty he so rightly deserves???? HE SHOULD!!!!
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05-05-2011 08:16
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When is cinco de mayo?
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05-05-2011 07:46
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45. People who call with blocked numbers deserve to not get answered!
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05-05-2011 06:58 by BRian
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+ + + R.I.P Claude Choules.....the world's LAST surviving veteran of WWI, who died peacefully at his hostel home in Salter Point, Western Australia, at the mighty age of 110. I salute you, Sir. May you have the long, dignified sleep you deserve. + + +
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05-05-2011 06:57 by tdw
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