JRF Funny Status Messages

   I just saw a commercial for Oprah's Farewell Season. I think I may jump for joy!!

   My wife gave me an apple to eat for breakfast. So, this is what Adam felt like.

   Grammar are our friend.

   I woke up this morning to find 2 beautiful girls and my husband staring at me. I felt like prey for a brief moment.

   For some of you that habitually change your relationship statuses, Facebook should offer an "is being played by _________" option.

   The epicenter of the quake has been pin-pointed to a graveyard outside of DC, where all of our Founding Fathers had rolled over in their graves.

   There is talk of the Royal Wedding being broadcast in 3D. The United Kingdom should start preparing the world now for Charles's ears.

   Well, I guess Twinkies don't last forever.

   If you're not wearing green right now, shuffle your feet on the carpet and touch the screen to receive your "virtual pinch".

   I know you people can't think everyone that messages you is a bouquet of roses. C'mon...tell people what you REALLY think of them. THAT would be more interesting to read!

   ‎"Hello? George? This is Barack. I need to talk to you about Libya..."

   Happy Cinco de Mayonnaise!

   Listening to Obama is like experiencing Deja Moo. You feel as if you've heard this bull before.

   OMG! It's so cold I think I have ovaries now!!