Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
it a violation to fart in a non-smoking area? 
Don't Facebook your problems, FACE THEM!
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Likes are like crabs. Regardless of what you say - if you're trashy enough, you'll get them often.
As Anti-Wall Street protests spread outside the New York Stock Exchange over the corporate greed in America, pitchforks were up by 8 3/4 and torches by 7 1/2 points
hey guys!!!!!! A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
If I ever send you LOL, you should know I prolly faked it! :P
You CAN'T tell me that "Wendy Williams" Has Never, Wrestled For WWF.
Some things just never change. You know that kid who used to steal your favourite toy only to break it and throw it away? Now he is the douchebag who steals your girlfriend, use and break her heart then dump her.
For xmas my wife is getting SWIFFA so she can have fun while cleaning too.!!!
BBC News: "Man critical after Specsavers car park crash." He should have gone to . . . Oh
heading to Zanesville, OH for some big game hunting.
survived Harold Camping predictions...
FUNNY T-SHIRT IDEA: "I survived another Harold Camping rapture prediction".
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
You say I'm afraid of commitment, but maybe it's you that's afraid of total uncertainty.
It's hard to understand why eating a banana would be considered even remotely sexual. Sure, it can represent a phallic object, but if a girl devouring your pen!s turns you on then you have some serious problems.
Seen a couple jogging this morning, he had on black leotards and a black hoodie, not far behind she had white leotards and a white hoodie,. I couldn't help but grine reminded of the old comic strip spy vs spy
For those of you who were wondering why I have a belly, well I'm not fat, I'm just Full with love =)
It makes you worried for the future when you see all the insecure girls on Facebook posting their pictures as their statu$ and begging for likes. 