Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
4786
4787
4788
4789
4790
4791
4792
4793
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 4790 of 6370
I was thinking about becoming an atheist, but I thought screw it, you don't get any holidays.
18
24
←Rate |
12-04-2009 02:20 by
lemonpillow
Comments (
0
)
I have found that if you love life... life will love you back
18
24
←Rate |
12-12-2009 01:03 by
Mike
Comments (
0
)
This is my facebook. This is my gun. This is for posting this is for fun
18
24
←Rate |
03-31-2010 18:52 by
dane
Comments (
0
)
I hate getting wet...it always makes little animals pop out of my bac!
18
24
←Rate |
11-12-2010 23:08 by
wendy rafferty
Comments (
0
)
Police found the device in a smoking Nissan Pathfinder. Thank God it was a Nissan. If it had been a Toyota, you know it would have blown up.
18
24
←Rate |
05-03-2010 07:19 by
lemonpillow
Comments (
0
)
Please! You're only older than me because your parents decided to have unprotected sex before mine did. At least mine didn't make a mistake that night.
18
24
←Rate |
05-28-2010 22:45 by
Danmanz
Comments (
0
)
I'd be more willing to cuddle with my Wife after sex if she'd be more willing to high-five after sex.
18
24
←Rate |
06-02-2010 19:02
Comments (
0
)
I'm an optimist and Windows 8 will be my idea.
18
24
←Rate |
12-13-2010 09:58 by
JC
Comments (
0
)
the last great run by a bronco was in 1994
18
24
←Rate |
02-02-2014 23:03
Comments (
0
)
Wow, the U.S. sychronized men's diving team are extreme h0m0sexuals.
18
24
←Rate |
08-02-2012 11:05
Comments (
0
)
Paula Dean is currently at home watching the George Zimmerman trial in disgust.
18
24
←Rate |
06-28-2013 13:53 by
YourFavOriteAhole
Comments (
0
)
what happens when a idiot can't get a gun and wants to make a scene?
18
24
←Rate |
04-15-2013 19:30 by
MWC
Comments (
0
)
I just invented a birth control pill for men. I figure it makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bullet proof vest.
18
24
←Rate |
04-20-2013 19:05 by
Mickey
Comments (
0
)
Happy Wife = Happy Life
18
24
←Rate |
03-30-2011 12:30 by
CJ
Comments (
1
)
Think I'll take up smoking just so I'll get more breaks at work.
18
24
←Rate |
04-02-2011 10:41
Comments (
0
)
Why do they no longer offer drivers ed and sex ed in schools in Mexico? The donkey died....
18
24
←Rate |
04-10-2011 01:31 by
punkie
Comments (
0
)
My kid stole this 'Student of the Month' bumper sticker off your car and put it on mine. And he beat your kid's ass.
18
24
←Rate |
09-30-2011 09:47 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
If I were an OBGYN my catchphrases would be "at your cervix!" and "not guilty your honer!"
18
24
←Rate |
09-06-2011 19:07
Comments (
0
)
I do the same thing after pumping gas that I do after sex... (Sniff my fingers)
18
24
←Rate |
06-14-2012 23:02 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Went deep-sea fishing with my neighbor yesterday. He was tough to get on the hook, but you should see the shark I caught!
18
24
←Rate |
04-25-2012 23:58 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
4786
4787
4788
4789
4790
4791
4792
4793
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com