Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Please put this on your status if you know, or are related to, someone killed on the Death Star. People must understand that the Rebel Alliance is a band of murdering scum. The Empire wants only to bring peace to the galaxy but these rebels continue to ki

   This status update is not available in your country.

   I wonder what is more of a rarity, a four-leaf clover or a heterosexual cowboys fan?

   You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, "The car behind me is paying for two."

   How many BBQ's do I have to get drunk at to prove I love Australia???

   One day... Facebook, Youtube, Myspace and Friendster will come together as one. It will be called, FookYouMyFriend.

   the hardest part of working in a restaurant is how your throat hurts after spitting in all those orders

   Just saw a baby with a shirt that said, not everything stays in Vegas.

   Buckwheat Word Of The Day: Dictate "I aks Darla wen she give me a bIow job how my dictate."

   I won't believe Obama is black until he shows me his irresponsible father certificate.

   R.I.P. Amanda Todd ..We will miss you . . <----------------

   in bed by 9, and home by 11..

   Thinks Whitney had her own pre-grammy party. grammy of coke, grammy of heroin, grammy of.......

   Today I saw a baby with a bib that said "This dumbass put my cape on backwards."

   • BoyfriEND, girlfriEND, friEND. Everything has an END, except family.

   . Glad trump has not accomplished anything. If he had, we be worse off then we are now.

   Actors like Carrie Fisher claimed Trump would never be their president. I hope the others follow her lead!

   this country is not ran by democracy, but by communism.

   supports the "Obama Is Too Damn High Party"!!!

   Congratulations to Amy Winehouse... on 4 months of sobriety.