Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks shes wrong.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 04:38 by Reznor Comments (0)  

   messageicon “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
←Rate | 04-04-2012 21:50 by BEGO Comments (1)  

   messageicon Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 14:12 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a little girl, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 14:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay, the mice throw themselves on the traps.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 14:56 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon .... The poor mother was only trying to give her son a chance at a better life ..... Then zookeepers shot his new adoptive parent.
←Rate | 05-31-2016 10:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 3 dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks.To be as rich as his child believes.To have as many women as his wife suspects
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:10 by RoN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Axe Bodyspray, Please create a new bottle that allows only one spary every 24 hours. Thank you for your consideration. Signed, Mother of a ten year old boy
←Rate | 03-18-2013 23:11 by Axel Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife doesn't appreciate that I love her mother in law more than I love mine.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 19:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you wouldn't make her your wife.. Don't make her a mother!
←Rate | 02-29-2012 15:15 by Jackoo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alicia Silverstone named her son Bear Blue? I wonder if she would have liked it if her mother named her Racoon Red? WTF is wrong with these celebs........
←Rate | 05-10-2011 05:42 by Bill Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I could just harness the powers of that groundhog to predict the future...I'd be unstoppable...and I could dig like a mother fu@ker too...
←Rate | 02-02-2011 15:18 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  

   messageicon Marriage tip #392: Don't ever, ever start an argument with your wife with "Your f**kin' mother"......
←Rate | 05-31-2011 11:40 by urboyblue Comments (0)  

   messageicon To all the mothers: Happy Mother's Day. Don't let it go to your head. You are a working double tomorrow.
←Rate | 05-13-2012 12:12 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon You name it, my mother knows somebody who died of it.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 09:50 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing is sweeter than finding out that the cute boy who dumped you in the 12th grade lives in his mother's basement.
←Rate | 05-11-2010 21:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanks to Facebook I met everyone's mother today
←Rate | 05-10-2015 20:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's like Canada is the concerned child watching her aging mother (Britain) and weirdo big brother (United States) descend into chaos in 2016, unsure who to worry over first.
←Rate | 06-26-2016 22:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is "don't worry son everyone's doing that."
←Rate | 12-16-2013 10:07 by Lil-David Comments (0)  

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