M.A.C. Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon just had to separate 5 loads of laundry....and they will just have to sit there and think about what they've done....then and only then will I deal with them....
←Rate | 02-27-2011 14:02 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon just had a near death experience and other peoples' lives flashed before my eyes…I have GOT to stop being so f@#king nosey…
←Rate | 01-20-2011 10:42 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were stranded on a deserted island with only a solar powered cd player, and a bieber cd........ how would you kill yourself?
←Rate | 02-16-2011 11:54 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon when work feels overwhelming, I just reassure myself that I will die someday....
←Rate | 02-28-2011 16:07 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kudos on the shaved balls, but try longer gym shorts next time….
←Rate | 02-25-2011 12:57 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alright look...I'll be honest, those pants make your ass look like your inner child grew up, and decided to invite some friends over...
←Rate | 02-11-2011 12:51 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon you ever have a conversation with someone and think...If only your family tree had a few more branches, this conversation wouldn't be so painful...
←Rate | 03-01-2011 12:00 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see small children on leashes, I'm always tempted to run up, scratch their bellies, and ask “How old in human years?”
←Rate | 03-29-2011 17:26 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon why must I be made to feel like a porn star everytime I open yogurt....
←Rate | 02-01-2011 15:01 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretending to be hungover today, so nobody at work gets the wrong impression of me...the last thing I want to be labled is a responsible adult...
←Rate | 03-18-2011 10:06 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon If reincarnation were real, I'd like to come back as a stomach virus, so I could say that I truly give a sh!t….
←Rate | 02-07-2011 14:45 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon now accepting applications for a Valentine...Requirements as follows : 1) Pulse 2) Female...as the day progresses, requirement #1 may become negotiable...
←Rate | 02-14-2011 13:09 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think 'supervision' isn't nearly as cool as it sounds...
←Rate | 02-18-2011 10:42 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've come to realize that there is not much difference between paying for an evening out, and just leaving the money on the nightstand...unless you're hungry of course...
←Rate | 02-23-2011 11:16 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think facebook needs an "I've seen this before, but I still like it" button....
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:57 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever open a knife factory, I'd employ nothing but EMO kids...I'd never have to worry about them reporting an on-the-job injury....
←Rate | 01-24-2011 15:16 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon my son just said, "nobody needs a girlfriend till you're married!!"....hmmm...great advice I thought....
←Rate | 02-03-2011 17:51 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just took the 'road less traveled'...found Waldo...
←Rate | 02-18-2011 10:59 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Although it's true that when I think about you I touch myself, it usually involves a sharp instrument to the heart region…you know, as a reminder….
←Rate | 02-07-2011 11:11 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone is wondering how to build a meth lab, Google apparently has directions on its homepage today…..
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:21 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  



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