Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Ever notice that our President's initials are B.O. makes sense because he stinks

   If you don't believe in same sex marrriage, don't marry someone of the same sex! It's simple! As for Gay adoption hurting Children? Since when is it better to be an orphan then to have two mommies? -_-

   millions of my potential children died on your sisters face last night!!

   Roses are red, violets are blue... I have a gun so get in the van.

   I went to go get some buffalo wings from KFC and they were completely sold out! I'm not surprised. After all, it is black Friday.

   it rude of me to ask the nice philipino girl at the new Comcast Call Center (in the phillipines) to transfer me back to America? She lied and said her name was Mary.. We all know her name was NOT Mary.

   been modified from his original version. He has been formatted to fit your Screen.

   Squirrels - Nature's Speedbumps

   Tebow is now the most famous white bronco since OJ's truck.

   The Dems want everyone to vote by mail but Pelosi just called Congress back to DC so they could vote...

   Hey, congratulations to the Obamas, who are celebrating their wedding anniversary today. They were going to go out to dinner, but they couldn’t find a sitter for Biden.

   Plan-Demic Cruelty. Let us never forget, was unleashed on the world intentionally one week after the failed impeachment hoax.

   A man hits his wife with a car, whose fault is it? The mans, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

   Im like cocaine: I'm white, highly addictive and ladies usually leave the bathroom with me on their face..

   Don't have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..

   The celebration of single moms on fathers day blows me! Single moms do some amazing things but being a father isn't one of them.

   LENO GIVER - When someone retires from a legendary television franchise, passes the torch to a worthy successor. Then he gets bored and starts a new show which stinks and then asks for their old job back by firing the successor." He's a leno giver"

   likes movies where the guy gets the girl in the end. That's why I like porn@ movies, because the guy usually gets the girl in both ends.

   I don't know if anyone been in the new Mus-lim clothing store in the mall but I suggest you don't ask if they have any bomber jackets in stock....They didn't like that at all.

   Was that "wadup yo" directed at me? Euah. Okay, well, I think that was a yes... No brah, you may not "axe" me a question. I don't speak hood. Now pull up your pants! How are idiots like this in college? Friggen STUPID!