potter Funny Status Messages

   I was at the pool earlier and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.

   There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while I'm trying to interrupt.

   Just saw a fat ginger girl buying a rape whistle...gotta admire her optimism

   Metaphorically Speaking...Beware of those self-absorbed people that are more concerned with the scratch on their car than the people in the car they hit

   I asked what she wanted and she said "surprise me". So I did her sister.

   When a girl says, "you have to watch this it's sooo funny, it made me pee my pants"-- I know I'm in for 2 minutes of suck.

   I think you women are on to something...shoe shopping does make you feel better!!

   If jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE SINGING ABOUT IT!!..

   Tebow is now the most famous white bronco since OJ's truck.

   Went marchin' outside, singin' God Bless Merica. Saluted and yelled, "Remember Pearl Harbor. Suck it Japanland. These colors don't run."

   You'd think bringing sexy back would be hard work but all I had to so was wake up and get outta bed....

   Want to know if you're in the wrong relationship? If you were reading this hoping I really had the answer, it's over.

   She just kept b!tching about me drinking to much beer, so I said I could deal with this hangover better if you would shut the f^ck up.