Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
It hurts me to see your "I'm in a relationship" status on Facebook. 
Hav you heard of the new drug doctors r giving to depressed lesbians??..its called TRYDICAGAIN!!
911: What is your emergency? / Sprint HTC Evo: Hi, I just murdered the iPhone.
Do homeless people get knock knock jokes???
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age, but will kill you if you forget their birthday`s :-)
You know, even after all these years, Stacy's mom has still got it going on.
I wonder if Kayne West will redeem himself when Beyonce's baby is born, like ripping it from her arms and handing it to Taylor Swift
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
Happy Unimaginative, Consumerist-Oriented, and Entirely Arbitrary, Manipulative and Shallow Interpretation of Romance Day
Wisconsin 0...Gov. Walker 1....now go home and put your cheese head hats on.
The time you REALLY wish you had a video camera is when somebody says, "Hold my beer and watch this".
There's a move to divide California into two states: The state of poverty and the state of bankruptcy.
♥ True love doesn't have a happy ending. It has NO ending ♥
Three questions that dumbfound people: 1) How did Moses part the Red Sea? 2) How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 3) How is Jacob Lusk still on American Idol?
The last thing that went through Osama Bin Ladens mind was a bullet.
I'm sad my kids have left to Summer Camp for 2 weeks. I no longer have an excuse to watch iCarly while they're gone...
i do not always use internet explorer but when I do, its to download a new web browser
How many terrible mistakes can you make before you're officially a bad person? It's like 70, right?
Raise your hand if you are one of those people who have to publicly announce that they're in love...and with that hand, b*tch-slap yourself.
People with little or no education love to argue the most. 