love Funny Status Messages

   loves eating big meals. I especially love a 7 course meal, of which my best is a cheese burger and a six pack of beer.....

   hopes that all of you are practicing your "Oh my God, I LOVE it!" face? We're getting closer...

   There's no worse feeling than lying next to the person you love and they don't know you love them. Or that you're in their house again.

   Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That's why most of the women put on make up and most of the men lie.

   I love watching two girls meet each other. It's easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.

   Love in 2013 means answering each other’s texts immediately.

   I love the word "Allegedly". You can make up anything about anyone without any reprisal... allegedly.

   there is a thin line between love and hate....and I'd like to pick up that line and strangle you with it.......

   I love hearing rumors because they tell me things about myself I didn't know before.

   Do what you love, but run like hell as soon as you hear the sirens.

   You know that song by Bruno Mars called "Just the Way You Are"? Did you know if you changed that lyric to "Just Get In My Car" it changes from a love song to a really scary stalker song??

   Love how you keep me warm and make me feel safe. Never a scornfull word or negative comment. Always pick me up when I am feeling down. You smell good all the time and are steaming with pleasure.......Coffee, I think I love you........

   I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

   Pro tip: Before you tell her that you love her, make sure you're not horny, drunk, lonely, desperate, sad, angry, bored or hungry.

   ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!

   Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone.

   Please irritate me. I would LOVE to see how badly it ends for you. ;)

   I love your approach. Now let's see about your departure.

   I love my wife, and God bless her for packing my lunch. But when you whip out a fruit roll up on a construction site, you get looks!

   I didnt win the mega millions. But if you did I LOVE YOU!