samdave69 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon : Everytime I hear the dirty word "excercise", I wash my mouth with chocolate.....
←Rate | 02-05-2010 11:32 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confucius say: Man who go to sleep with sexual problem, wake up with solution in hand....
←Rate | 02-04-2010 22:21 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confucius he say, man who sit on tall toilet is high on pot...
←Rate | 02-04-2010 23:20 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw a middle-eastern friend shaking a carpet on 6th floor balcony. I called out "whats up ahmed, won't it start?"
←Rate | 02-05-2010 22:07 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon met a fairy today who granted me one wish, I want to live forever I said, sorry said the fairy, I am not allowed to grant wishes like that. Fine I said, I want to die when England win the World Cup, 'you crafty b@$t@rd!' said the fairy...
←Rate | 07-08-2010 14:58 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it's only a weak soul that walks towards Alchohol as a 'solution' when the going gets tough. Not me though - I sprint towards it....
←Rate | 02-26-2010 08:48 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon procastinating now. Don't see why I should put it off......
←Rate | 02-27-2010 01:55 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alzheimers: You wake up and wonder who's sleeping next to you, where you are, what you did the night before, why you're naked..... kinda like college, isn't it?
←Rate | 02-08-2010 22:56 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon red meat is not bad for you. Green furry meat is....
←Rate | 02-04-2010 10:07 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon examining one of his patients. Took the husband aside and said: Your wife doesn't look too good. Husband said: I know but she's got an awesome personality...
←Rate | 03-03-2010 22:34 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ever realize how similar Porsches are to porcupines? Except the porcupine has pricks on the outside....
←Rate | 04-27-2010 23:18 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants a holiday that somehow follows closely to the 1966 movie: The Endless Summer...... any volunteers?
←Rate | 03-10-2010 03:48 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks life is unfair. So many rules; so little time to break them....
←Rate | 04-21-2010 15:50 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw a naked man running down his road. I rolled down the car window and asked "hey why are you running stark naked " to which the naked man replied "because you are home early....."
←Rate | 02-05-2010 11:27 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon veni, vidi, velcro. I came, I saw, I stuck around...
←Rate | 02-05-2010 11:53 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves eating big meals. I especially love a 7 course meal, of which my best is a cheese burger and a six pack of beer.....
←Rate | 03-07-2010 22:32 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ashley cole was arrested for speeding!! In his defence, he was told tht John Terry's car was parked outside his house!!!
←Rate | 02-06-2010 09:51 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon had it rough growing up. We was so poor, even our rainbows were black and white...
←Rate | 05-06-2010 13:15 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a lesbian trapped in a mans body.....
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:02 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon finally understood reality is an illusion. It is created by the lack of alcohol...
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:14 by samdave69 Comments (0)  



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